Roads Less Traveled

Better Than a Hallelujah Sometimes

2011-03-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a hallelujah

~Amy Grant

"You are confused. You think the clay is equal to the potter. You think that an object can tell the one who made it, 'You didn't make me.' This is like the pot telling the maker, 'you don't know anything.' " ~Isaiah 29:16 (NCV)

The clay is not stronger than the potter. In fact, it's purpose is to yield to the bendings and moldings of the potter's hands. But sometimes, the clay is stubborn and resists the molding of the potter. When this happens, the clay becomes dry and brittle at times. And no matter how much the potter tries to salvage the clay by re-adding water, reshaping and creating new ideas, the clay can break.

Our lives are the clay and God is the potter. Molding, shaping, building. God puts things in front of for reasons. And sometimes we repel against what He wants for us. He bends us, shapes us, sends us on new paths, when we have ventured on "our own" way instead of yielding to His hand and voice. He is happy when we obey him. But sometimes, if we are unwilling, he has to break us. And it breaks His heart to do so. But being broken is a good thing. By breaking, we can become aware of what we are doing or the path that is leading us away from God. And even then, sometimes we refuse to listen to Him. So He will continue to break us until we hear Him.

God gives us choices on the path of life. Sometimes we ignore the path that He has chosen for us. We ignore the whisper in our ear saying, "Turn right, my child." And defiantly we chose the path that we want instead. And at certain times, God's heart is broken and he has to break our hearts. And like the clay, we become brittle and dry. And then instead of listening to Him, we question Him. "Why? Why did you let that happen? What did I do to deserve this? How much more are you going to throw at me? If you are a loving God, why do these things happen?"

I've asked these questions many times. Sometimes I got the answer that I wanted, other times I didn't. I know it sounds cliche, but things do happen for a reason. Sometimes these seasons are gloomy and we run, run, run from God. But you know what? God is the life giving water that is always flowing. And if we cry out to Him, he'll give us that living water and replenish the dry, brittle substance. And we grow in Him, letting Him reshape us.

Sometimes it feels like we don't want to go on living because one bad thing after another comes our way. And we feel like we don't have the strength to go on. But if we lean on God and those around us for support, we can make it through the day. One step at a time. One breath in and out. God will never let us fall so far from Him that he can't reach us. He's always able to pick us up when we've fallen. His arms are always open, waiting for us to come to Him. His love is as far as the East is from the West.

I know you are broken and feeling lost at the moment. I know you feel like there is nothing left of you; nothing that you can give to anyone. I know you have been hurt by those you love. But God is here. He's waiting. He's waiting for you to cry out to Him. He may seem far away at the moment, but he will soon whisper, "I'm here! I've never left you!" Your cry to Him is better than a hallelujah.

I am Gomer, Hosea's Wife

2011-03-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

If you are unfamiliar with the story of Gomer, here's a quick background. She was a girl with a reputation. Promiscuous or possibly working as a prostitute. But God told Hosea to marry an unfaithful woman. So he did- he married Gomer. And he fell in love with her. But she still continued her bad behavior. Read more about Hosea and Gomer in the bible: Hosea 1:1-3:5.

Hi. My name is Gomer.

Seems we all can relate to Gomer at some point in our life, can we not? We've all had done something in our past that was wrong. Let me tell you a little story...

In the past few months, I have been Gomer more than I care to claim. No, I have not been sleeping around or selling my body. For the record, and I will never been ashamed of it, I am still a virgin and will be until I find the man I will marry. But, like Gomer, I've made choices that I could have changed. BIG choices. I hurt a few people that I care about. Not once. Not twice. But more than that. I kept getting that little niggling, "Don't do it, Mindy. It's not worth it." But I kept retorting back, "Oh, just this one little time will not hurt." And that one little time snowballed and ended up damaging those people emotionally and physically. But I was only thinking of myself and not the other people that I was hurting. And right now, I'm living with the mistakes that I have made.

I had been forgiven in the past by the people that I hurt, but this time, if forgiveness comes, it will take some time I'm sure. And trust and confidence will need to be built. I grenaded that wall down and now, brick by brick, I'm hoping to build it back with those people. I love them dearly. I learned from my mistakes.

And even though I feel like if I were them and I wouldn't ever forgive me, I deep down that God has forgiven me. He is Love. And he loves us unconditionally, just as Hosea loved Gomer even though she continued on her path of wickedness. But, just because God forgives us daily and days are made fresh and new in his love and mercy, doesn't give us free reign to go and continue to do the bad. Sometimes, it's going to take more than once, twice or three times to get it through out thick skulls to NOT do something that could be potentially harmful to you or others. *points to self * case in point. I hurt others over and over again, but this last time was the final time. I learned my lesson. This is an opportunity to learn from the wrongs and grown in character.

Just as God loves us and forgives us, we are to love and forgive others. It may not be immediate like God does, but eventually time will forgive. I need to take the "ME" goggles off and think before I speak or do something. I can stop the cycle.

Hi. My name is Gomer. And I have done things in the past that I am not proud of. But I'm willing to change them.

I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
"What do I live for?"

I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
"What do I live for?"

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives

[CHORUS]
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin

There is truth in little corners of our lives
There are hints of it in songs and children's eyes
It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby
What do I live for?

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using bodies like money and truth like lies

[CHORUS]

[Bridge]
We are more than dust
That means something
That means something
We are more than just
Blood and emotions
Inklings and notions
Atoms on oceans

Be Still and Know

2010-09-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

It amazes me how God can speak to someone. So many things have been going on in my life. So many crazy and wild ideas have been floating in my head.

For example, I wanted to get the How Many Kings tour with downhere and Mark Schultz, but it wasn’t in the plan at the time. The tour booked up fast, which is good, and there are still 2 dates coming to WI, so I’m happy.

Then, a little seed that had been planted a couple of months ago started to blossom one Sunday during the sermon. Horrible timing, I know. But, I got to talking with the pastor’s daughter and she thought the idea was awesome. Oh, I should tell you what it is: it’s for a girl’s conference and a concert with Lanae’ Hale and Jaime Jamgochian. We did some talking and to start, we thought maybe a “half day” concert would be best to start and work from there in future years if it all goes well.

Then, I started thinking, “You know what? I really like the whole promoting and getting concerts and things ready…” So, then I started looking up information on going to college for Marketing. I settled on doing courses through Berklee Music on Artist Management and Music Business. The only thing with Berklee online courses they don’t accept Financial Aid, Scholarships, Grants, etc. So, I am trying to find funding on my own. I decided to go with the Winter term which would start in January 2011. Each is a 2 year course, so I should be done with stuff in 4 years.

All of this has taken place within the past couple weeks. So my brain has been on high gear and frazzled at the same time. So many choices. Where does God want me to head? And for those of you who know me, public speaking really isn’t my thing. And what has been going on? Public speaking projects. My goodness.

Then to top this all off, my sister-in-law told me about a job at another car dealership. It’s closer to home, the hours would be great; no nights or weekends. And then I could really push my singing for weddings. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job where I’m at, but the late nights and every other weekend has really started to mess with my lifestyle. I am missing things at church on certain nights that I would love to attend, but can’t because I work until 8 or later, depending on what we have going on. So I applied for the job.

Then this morning, I was doing my Bible study and it’s amazing to me how God can come to you when you need Him. I was working on my assignments and all of a sudden this little voice came into my ear.

“Mindy, slow down. Stay where you are. Sit tight. I’ve got some surprises and plans for you that I can’t wait for you to see. So, sit back and relax.”

I nodded. I would obey and listen to him. So, I’m staying where I am at with work. He hasn’t told me “no” to the school or anything else. I keep getting more and more ideas, so we shall see where he is leading me.

I also keep thinking about the little “banter” between God and I about a year back. He had planted an idea in me and I came back to Him and told him straight out “no-I stutter, I ramble, I get off track, I ramble some more. I’m not made for speaking in public. That’s why I sit behind a microphone and sing.” He came straight out and told me: “Yah? And? Look what I did with Moses.” Silence. Me: “Touche.”

When your heart is fully open to him, it’s crazy what you can do. I never really took the time to open up and let him really come in and mold me. He’s doing a number on this piece of clay and I can’t wait to see what the final result will be in the very end.

Keep on molding, God. Keep on molding.

Heroes are made when you make a choice

2010-08-07T19:05:00.000-07:00

Wow.

I just had the most beautiful breakdown. A breakdown that was long overdue.

I am going through a Bible study called "He is my life" by Debbie Alsdorf. It's about loving others as Christ did. I think I mentioned this a couple blogs back.

I just finished my third week, and I can notice a difference in things. Yes, there are still some things that I am still working on, but I can feel a small difference. I'd rather take small steps and inch my way closer to my goal and climb to the top of the mountain verses taking giant leaps, reaching my goal in record time, only to fall and fail. I am learning to enjoy the obstacles in the way; they are helping me to grow and learn from my experiences.

Here is an example from this week. There is a salesman at work that, for some reason I can't quite figure out, I can't stand. Don't ask me why. I don't think that he ever did anything to me, and if he did, it was probably over something so stupid. Well, he came up to me at the window. I actually politely spoke with him. I wasn't short in answering him nor did I give him one word answers. I looked at him. I smiled at him. And I think that we actually laughed. Huh. Breakthroughs can be done.

But today, about a half hour ago, is when the breakdown came.

If you haven't seen the movie "To Save a Life", I really think that you should. I have heard nothing but good reviews about this movie, but then, I have heard reviews of other good movies only to be let way down.

This wasn't a slap in the face movie. This was a, "Mindy, I'm going to really open your heart and cause you to see what I see" moment. I watched it.

I became emotionally drained. I couldn't help but think of all the people that I have past on the street that probably needed a smile or a simple wave. Or the person that needed a door opened for them at the grocery store because their arms were full. Instead what did they get? A silent judgment. A glare. A "I'm better than you, so why would I associate myself with you" thought.

Some Christian I can be, huh?

I am so glad that God opened my eyes. I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. But too often, I become this person that I want the most not to be just to "fit in". Why? I can't take whatever I have here on this earth with me when I die.

Would I rather have a handful of gadgets that will last for a short period of time only to change in a matter of minutes? Or, would you rather have that warm, bear hug saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

I think I would chose the latter. At least, I knew I would have saved at least someone's life down the road instead of drowning myself in my headphones or games. No, I'm not saying that they are all fun. But I think I would like to see that person that I might have passed up smile and welcome them home when they pass from this world to the next.

When you feel that little tug in your stomach, don't ignore it. It's probably God tugging at your heart, breaking it to feel what He feels when He sees someone lonely and lost.

Here's a little phrase I came up with that I am trying to live by:
You can't say no to His go.

Sure, you can try and go a different path, but He's always going to lead you back.

Are you going to be a hero?

When Opportunity Presents Itself

2010-07-21T16:33:00.000-07:00

I had no intentions of writing or recording a song today. I was only going to sit at my piano and practice some music for an upcoming church service. Not sing. Only play. I put myself on vocal rest for goodness sake.

But, God had other plans.

I have been really getting into this Bible Study called "He is My Life" by Debbie Alsdorf. I just finished the first week today and I am enjoying being broken and made beautiful by the words God is putting on my heart.

I have no hard time showing love to those that I love, but when it comes to showing love to the enemy or someone I don't want to be seen with, that's another thing. I am learning to be challenged by loving others as Jesus loved(s) them. It's not easy, but one small step, two at a time, I will get there.

The verses that have been really laying on my heart the past couple days in regards to loving as Christ does, are these:

1 John 3:17-18
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tonguesof men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Please take a listen. I hope it moves you to be the hands and feet of Christ. Don't mind the rough piano or vocal parts. I was so excited about it, that I wanted to get it out there for you to listen.

HANDS AND FEET

If every word I spoke- was lifted to the sky
But my heart quickly denied Your love
If my feet would walk the earth- to dry a crying eye
But the only thing they collected was dust
I would be nothing without Your love

CHORUS
Bind my heart to you, Jesus
Make it ever true
Flow into my veins and help me see
That every opportunity that presents itself is sure
To be my chance to be Your hands and feet

If for a moment I befriend- the loneliest of men
But turn away and forget his face and name
Would he truly see- You living in me
Or would my testament just be a chance at fame
I'd be nothing without Your grace

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Take this heart of stone- mold it to fit Your own
Break the barriers hiding me from You
Let it be said of me- That the only thing
Is knowing how to love like You

CHORUS

American Idol: Cure or Curse?

2010-07-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

So, my cousin-in-law called me today and asked if I was standing in line for American Idol auditions in Milwaukee, WI today. I told him no becuase there would have been no way of getting off of work, and I put myself on vocal rest becuase my voice has been acting funny and I have a bunch of weddings and other things coming up that I don't want to blow it out. My voice is my other sources of income.

I told him this and he was like, "Well, I guess you don't want it enough."

This is where I got defensive. Ever since people heard that American Idol was coming to Milwaukee, I have been getting asked if I was going or not. I told most people "no" because I knew I didn't want to go. A bunch of my family members got upset and told me that I obviously don't want it enough.

Want what? Fame? Fortune? The chance to live my dream?? Of course I want it. But my priorities have been reshuffled since I first heard about American Idol back in the day.

I don't understand why my family thinks that I HAVE to do American Idol and if I don't, I don't want to live out my dream enough. And when I tell them that it's not what God is telling me to do right now, they get all funny and come back with the "I don't want it" thing again. I'm giving back my talent where it belongs: back to God by writing, singing, and worshiping. I don't have to be rich and famous. That's what they want for me and they want to live vicariously through me.

I think as a family, they should be happy for me and my decisions. I have so many opportunities presenting themselves that I'm excited and scared. God knows what's best for me. And now that I think of it, I remember Dad saying one time, that I would never make it on Idol. Not because I don't have the talent, but because of the atmosphere. The "Hollywood" side of music is not for me. And I knew exactly what he meant.

My music is about God. God is my music. And I want to write, sing and perform just for Him. I want to give everything I have back to him. I don't want to parade on a stage in front of millions of people, hoping and wishing they vote for me to make it through to the next round. My only vote that matters is the one from God.

And His plan for me is all that should matter. I'm trusting Him. I'm leaning on Him. I am trying to decipher if it's my voice or His when I make a decision. And the decision to not do American Idol was not mine. I fought it for seven years. And God won.

I just wish my family would be happy and support my decisions. I get defensive when they tell me that I don't know what I want or that I am giving up on my dreams. I shouldn't have to defend myself. But I do and I get upset and it shows.

I am praying that God lays on their hearts and sees that my choices are going to be what's best for it at that time in my life. It just aches my heart when they can't see that God is moving. It's hard being in a family that doesn't understand my faith. They support it, yes. But I can't discuss it with most of them. They start to fidget and turn away.

God, you know what best and I am trusting you.

Good luck to all those that actually do try out for American Idol. My prayers, thoughts and wishes are with you.

Six Impossible Things

2010-06-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

In honor of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, I have decided to take Alice up on her "Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast" quote. Here are the things that I have learned about myself in the last couple of years:

1. UP IS DOWN
Wrong is right, right is wrong, left is right, right is left. Safely put: GOD IS GOD and His ways should be my own.

2. STEPPING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE REALLY ISN'T AS SCARY AS YOU MAKE IT OUT TO BE.
I've done a lot of tings over the past couple of years that I never would have dreamed ever doing before. Stepping out and just doing them, I proved to myself that I can do anything if I set my mind to it. Yes, it will feel scary at first, but in the end, it will feel great to do something that you never thought you could do before.

3. DREAMS CAN COME TRUE IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
I never really truly applied myself before. And when I would, I would try and achieve something so far out of my grasp that I would give up. Start small. Move up the ladder slowly. Revel in the climb to your goal; whether good or bad endings, big or small.

4. SOCIETY'S VERSION OF ACCEPTANCE CAN STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE.
For so long I have tried to fit into society's mold of what is pretty, good and accepted. I have learned over the years that God loves you as you are, right where you are. Love yourself, then it will be easier to love others. If you are bitter with yourself, it will show when you speak to others. I am learning as I get older to be happy in my own skin and what God wants me to be.

5. IT'S MORE OUR HOUSES, NOT OUR HEARTS, A 1,000 MILES APART.
I've met so many great people through message boards online. I thank God for the opportunity to meet all these lovely people with whom I've *hopefully* created lasting friendships with.

6. IT'S OKAY TO BE A LITTLE MAD AS A HATTER.
God laughs. So I, too, shall laugh, cackle and gafaw. Life is too short to be a stick-in-the-mud. I am goofy, odd and completely me. I dance, sing and entertain in a style all my own. That's how God made me. I like being different. And different is quite alright by me

Now....it's your turn. I want to see what six impossible things you have learned about yourself or obstacles you have conquered in the past few years. Don't be shy. Step up and celebrate who you are.

Tangled up in Disney

2010-06-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

So, here's the new trailer for Tangled, Disney's latest Animated film. I remember seeing stuff a couple years ago with concepts of the story leaked on to Youtube. I hadn't heard anything up until recently and didn't think anything of it. Now, I can't wait for this to come out.

I laughed hard at the trailer and I hope that all the good stuff isn't going to just be in the trailer, which seems to happen alot lately. Or, you don't understand the story line and it's just a bunch of pretty pictures.

But I think that most of us know the story of Rapunzel. Or at least vaguely. I think Disney is going to up it and change it around. Which will be fine as long as it's close to the original story.

And I have to say, I kinda have a crush on Flynn Rider. I don't remember the last time I thought a Disney character was "hot", if you will. This is excluding Jack Sparrow. Most of you know my slight admiration for the rugged pirate.

Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi will be playing Rapunzel and Flynn. Most of you remember Mandy from her role in A Walk to Remember or as a musical artist. Most of you, (ME!) have a crush on or love watching Chuck on NBC. Yes, Chuck is playing Flynn. Maybe that's why I have a slight crush on the character. Who knows. I'm having an identity crisis when it comes to the men I seem to like. Or, my horizons are very wide and I like choices. Yet again, who knows. :)

Anywho, I hope that you enjoy the trailer. Have fun with side kicks, kung-fu hair and cheesy pick-up lines :)

World of Color Show~Disneyland

2010-06-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

I saw this on the Disney Blog today and was blown away! I knew this was going to open soon, I just didn't know when! Someone put the whole 26 minute show up in 3 segments. Yes, not going to lie. I choked up a bunch of times. It was phenomenal. Too bad it's only going to be seen at Disneyland.

Happy Birthday

2010-06-09T04:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Johnny Depp!

Thanks for making me laugh, smile, and cry over 20+ years in the business! I hope that you have a wonderful birthday and it is blessed to the brim!

Mouse Tales

2010-05-26T05:46:00.000-07:00

I want to step off the plane at Orlando International Airport, I want to get to our resort as quickly as possible and bury myself in Disney for a week without coming up for air.

Staying on-site allows guests to mainline the magic. You are completely immersed in that ambiance 24 hours a day, for your entire stay.

I don't want to drive the wrong way under the welcoming arch until it's time to go home. I'm not interested in seeing fast food restaurants along the highway or visiting Wal-mart, Publix, Hooters, or Target. (Maybe Hooters.) But for the most part I do not want to be reminded that there is a real world outside the gates of Walt Disney World. And by staying on-site, I am allowed, for a brief time, to forget about the day-to-day hassles and real life worries associated with life away from my vacation destination of choice.
~Excerpt from Mousejunkies!: Tips, Tales, and Tricks for a DISNEY WORLD fix by Bill Burke (emphasis mine)

"You are completely immersed in that ambiance 24 hours a day, for your entire stay." I so can't wait to do that. And though it's still 349 days away till I depart on my adventure to that Magical Land called Disney, I have started my planning and trying to find ways of cramming as much as I can possibly get in in 7 days, while leisurely strolling about Main Street USA, visiting the Pirates of the Caribbean, Cinderella Castle, etc.

Disney is not just a magical place for me. It's home. A long awaited trip home that I have been waiting to take for almost 30 years. And since I will be heading out during my birthday year, I am more than thrilled to be spending my milestone year with my mother and some really, really great friends. REAL and fictional.

Disney holds a very close place to my heart. I have always felt an attachment to it and I always wanted to work there. Yes, I'm sure everyone has dreamed of Disney at some point in their life, and yes, you cannot deny that you have laughed or even smiled at something Disney related. Most people have felt the magic sometime in their life.

I have lived with it 24/7 since I was child. I live, breathe, dream it. And so this will be a pilgrimage long coming. I will be a sappy mess. My side will hurt from laughing so hard. My heart will swell with memories coming to the brink and spilling forward and hold tight to all the new memories that will be created.

Crowds? What crowds? And the heat, you say? I care not for such trifles. They are only blips on the map that can be easily maneuvered. I will be so engrossed in Disney Euphoria that I will not even notice them. Ok, maybe for a minute or two, but the agitation will soon pass.

Yes, Disney, my home of magic and wonder. My life is about to take a beautiful turn and one more goal in my life will have been completed. I will never be the same.

Disney will never be the same once I set foot upon the magical ground.
Are you sure you are ready for me, Mickey? Minnie? Jack Sparrow, what say you?

Epic Fail

2010-05-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

I was debating on whether I wanted to post this or not or keep it in my private journal. But, I decided, since I have great friends who will hold me accountable for my actions, I will tell you all.

I was not a very good person the other day. Saturday, May 15th, to be exact. I was waiting in line at Walmart with my mom, brother and his family. In front of us were two ladies buying items. I snubbed them and turned and said something to my mother that I don't appreciate people that are clearly well off, (They obviously had enough money to go and get piercings everywhere and tattoos, but yet they couldn't feed their children, so they recieve help from the government to supply them with baby formula, juices, etc...) I thought that I said it quiet enough so they wouldn't hear me.

Clearly, I didn't. The lady came up to me and said, "Next time, keep your comments to yourself." They walked away and her friend yelled out, "**tch" to me." I raised my shoulders and said that how I didn't care. I didn't appreciate people living off the system so they can go and spend useless money on things like tattoos and such.

When we were getting in the car, the ladies were waiting for us outside Walmart. They drove down the other lane and yelled the same profanities back at me. I didn't look at them, but shook my head and let my blood boil. It stayed with me all evening long. I held on to that anger.

Did they have a right to offend me? NO.
Did I have a right to judge them? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

I went ahead and did God's bidding. I judged the person. Instead of praying for them and asking God to provide for them and care for them as a friend, I went ahead and thought with my mouth. I am still learning to not be so offensive to people. I don't understand where this is all stemming from-I haven't pin pointed it. But I don't like what I do when I do things like that. I feel horrible afterwards and I KNOW that I was doing wrong, still I went ahead and did it.

It's actions like mine that make people second guess Christians. What kind of model of Christ am I if I go about spouting my tongue off to people? I forget that I am supposed to love my neighbors, pray for them, support them....and here I defend myself saying as to why they shouldn't be doing what they are doing, since I am not doing it....but take a good look in the mirror, Mindy. You are just as guilty as they are.

So, my friends, I feel better getting that of my chest. I confessed my sins and I am looking absolution.

How doth do you take it?

2010-05-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

I am finishing up a fan fiction that I am sad to end, but as you know, all stories come to an end. In the final chapter, I wrote a love poem for two of the characters. Now, I am not a sappy, lovey-dovey kind of person. I gag every time I see someone all in love or whatnot. I probably guarantee, that some day that will be me. But for now, I will let my stomach churn at people's public displays of gaggy affection.

And since I have never been in love, I was thinking to myself; "Self, how in the world are you going to write a love poem when you have never been in love?" To that I replied: "I have never been in love, but I have experienced love many times in my life."

As I was writing this, it was aimed for the characters, but as I was reading it over this morning to try and punch out the final chapter, I was reading the words:

“How doth the sun shine so brightly in the mid of day
How doth the night sky darken where the stars happily play
How doth my heart grow fond of the love that I give
How doth do you take it, my fairest, to live?
How doth do you take it, my fairest, to live?

Do you take it with a spoonful of sugar
Or do you take it with the sourest of vinegar
I pray that you doth take it with my heart in mind
For I shall always love you, my dearest divine.
For I shall always love you, my dearest divine.”

In reality, this could be God talking to us. How do we take His love? Do we willingly accept it or do we turn our cheek and ignore it and giving it the foulest taste in our mouths?

I know that I have not been the most openly accepting of it. I have turned my back on God too many times to count, but I always come seeking it when I most need it.

And as the sun burns in the mid day and as the stars dance in the dark midnight, God is always there waiting for us, arms stretched out wide. Nothing can separate us from Him. He is always seeking us. And He wants to wrap us in His arms, cradle us in the palms of His hands and never let us go.

Jesus is our love song. Jesus is our love poem. And I will be sappy in love with Jesus until I see Him face to face. Of course, like any couple, we will have our moments, me mostly being the cause of it since I don't know how to surrender, He will be waiting and forgiving.

AGAPE; unconditional love. I want to show that to people.

New Way to Live

2010-05-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

Arise, there's a new way to live
Thought we were living, but that's not what we've been
We've been, breathing out and breathing in
But the question remains have we ever truly lived.

~New Way to Live, Jason Gray

I couldn't figure out why I have been so bitter these past few weeks. I couldn't figure out why my heart had been so hardened by the things people said to me. I couldn't figure out why my eyes had adverted away from God even though I tried to seek him over and over.

I am learning that I need to surrender and forgive. Forgive being the bigger part.

During Holy Week this year, an already stressful time for me as I am journeying to the Road to Calvary, my best friend decided she wanted to end our 6 year friendship. And what made it worse for me was the fact that she couldn't do it face to face. She did everything through facebook. I was hurt, confused, angered, bitter, resentful, you name it. I cried tears but I couldn't figure out why I cried them.

Then Good Friday came. I cried, knowing that Jesus died for me and saved me. But for some reason I couldn't let go of what had happened a couple days prior.

And these past few weeks have been the same. I haven't been very close to God and I haven't talked to him, even though I thought that I was doing a good job in my life. I mean, I wasn't out drinking, I wasn't doing drugs, I wasn't out breaking the law. so that had to count for something, right?

This past weekend I spent some time with some wonderful girls of God. And we also had an added little perk of listening to one of my favorite artists, Jason Gray. There was so much that went on this past weekend, but I will make that another post in the days coming. We got to have some special time with him and he was talking to us about stuff. There was a new song that he was working on and it just wrenched my heart wide open.

I was grateful that I was in the company of amazing friends. For had I not been, I would have not been able to get through that moment. God was speaking to me and laying His hand on my heart. He was telling me: "Forgive.....forgive.....forgive. That's all you need to do. Forgive, and let it go. I will handle the rest."

I knew exactly what He was talking about. I needed to forgive my friend for what happened. And things happen for a reason. This was just a stepping stone that I couldn't get over. I tried my hardest to hang on hoping that maybe, just maybe, if I did, things could work out. But I had to step off that rock and move on to the next one, waiting for God to tell me what to do.

Jason shared a story about how God wants all of us. Not what we think he wants us to be or how we should act in front of Him. We can never truly be intimate with Him if we are not willing to share everything with Him. Even our anger.

This was another turning point for me. I had to release the anger that had built up over the past couple days and give it to God. It was holding me back from Him.

It's going to take a bit to learn to do, but this weekend with amazing friends and musicians showed me that I have to be vulnerable at the feet of Jesus. He can give me peace and joy and comfort.

And I am learning there is a new way to live. A life full of joy and happiness. Satan can attack me all he wants, but as I read God's Word and commune with other believers who will lift me up, I can stand against him. Sorry, buddy, but you can't win this fight. You never have, you never will.

What is Freedom

2010-04-14T06:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't written much lately. I know, I have been a poor, poor blogger. But I have been busy writing music and other stories...aka fan fiction. I am on a fan fic yahoo group called the Black Pearl Sails where we write about, you guessed it, Pirates of the Caribbean. It's a guily pleasure that I have :)

Anyway, this weeks drabble is on Poetry. And since it's poetry month, that's what they decided to do. Now, I haven't written poetry in a very, very long time. But it was a fun little challenge to say the least. This is what I came up with. I hope that you enjoy it.

Comments are appreciated :)

FREEDOM

What is freedom?

Freedom is the wind blowing around your face
Caressing it with her gentle fingers
Letting her sweet words and phrases linger
Holding you in an embrace

Freedom is the horizon's sunrise
Warming you with her golden rays
Coaxing you and leading you for days
Reminding you that you are alive

Freedom is the miniscule escape
From the advancing enemies grasp
A ragged sigh of relief and you clasp
Tightly to the treasure that's yours to proclaim

Freedom is the groaning plank boards beneath
The swaying on the white-capped waves
The way that Calypso plays
With your home under your feet

You asked me my friend, and I can tell you sure
She is my love, my life, my all
She is ever faithful, not letting me fall
What freedom is, is the Black Pearl.

The Vertical Self

2010-04-07T05:30:00.000-07:00

I didn't know what I was going to expect from the book. Okay, maybe I did know a little since I knew what the “vertical self” meant. I was actually drawn in more by the cover of the book than anything. I liked the contemporary feel. For some reason, that's usually how I pick the books I read-by the cover. Then if I like the summary of the book I'll read it. Sometimes I have success, sometimes I don't.

This book was a success for me. I have always been battling with “myself”, as it were, instead of just letting God take control. And even though I knew most of the stuff in the book, it was nice to have a refresher course on why I wasn't letting God consume all of me. It's amazing how this world can really be an influencer in your life without even realizing it. Even in the Christian world. So many times we are caught up in pleasing ourselves, that really this life is all about pleasing God.

Stayer plays out The Vertical Self in eleven chapters. He breaks down how society has played a huge roll in the development of our cultures from generations past to present. He convieniently places Scripture where it needs to be said to bring us back to the truth of things: GOD is in control; not us. At the end of the book, there is a short “Bible Study” that a group can use for their weekly meetings. I used it on an individual level and my journal is jam-packed full of pictures, diagrams, scripture, and thoughts.

I recommend reading this if you are new to the Christian faith and are struggling with at the battle lines on “who's side to be on” or even if you have been a Christian for a long time and just need a good dose of reminding who you really belong to.

Welcome to my Wonderland

2010-04-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know me well, or for those of you who do, I love to write. Doesn't matter what it is. I love to write. It's a way of expressing myself. Though, sometimes I don't always make sense when I write and it's hard to portray what is going on inside of my head.

I love to write music. I also love to write fanfiction. It's one of my guilty pleasures. I am on a couple of sites that have things called "drabbles". Drabbles are usually short stories about 100-200 words long and it's written from a single word prompt. Example:Each week we are given a word. So let's say, "LOVE" was used. You would use that word to form a story around it. It's fun creating stories of your favorite characters. Mine happen to be anything Johnny Depp. But it's mostly Jack Sparrow since it's so easy to create an adventure for him. I also have recently fallen in love with Tarrant Hightopp-the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. What a great character!

So I had a dream about him one night and I got this story formed. I am in the process of writing it right now, but I am posting it on my writing blog.

I hope you stop by and read some of my work. I enjoy feed back. I am also in the process of writing a novel- non-Johnny Depp. :) I am stuck on it write now. I have the basic storyline playe out, I just can't get my characters to move forward.

You can view my stuff HERE. I hope you all enjoy it!!

Carry My Cross

2010-04-02T05:47:00.000-07:00

There are no words to describe what Jesus did for me today. He loved me so much that he took ALL my sins on his shoulders and died for me so I may be washed clean.

Thank you for your love, mercy, and grace, Jesus. Without You, life wouldn't be worth living.

This is a little vid I did some years ago as I was reflecting on Holy Week. Carry My Cross is such a powerful song and the Passion of the Christ was such a powerful movie that it only seemed natural to fit them together. I hope this video touches you somehow. God loves you. He always has. He always will. Nothing you can do will ever stop that. And remember, even if you feel alone in this world, He is MUCH closer than you think!!

Fear....

2010-02-27T13:39:00.000-08:00

January 12, 2010~Haiti hit by an earthquake

February 10, 2010~Chicago has mild earthquake
February 27, 2010~Chile hit by an earthquake
February 27, 2010~Hawaii hit by tsunami caused by Chile earthquake

Do I have reason to be afraid? Well, I am.

I have seen some videos on Youtube about people saying, “oh, it’s not the End Times, you don’t know what you are talking about.” Or, “You Christians are crazy saying that God is saying something to you people.”

I think I have reason to be afraid. To me, things just seem to be getting worse and worse in the world. I know earthquakes happen on a regular basis in some countries. But I haven’t seen this magnitude of them being publicized.

I think that God is speaking and people are taking their time to wake up. I think God has been speaking to us for centuries and we have been ignoring his light tap on the shoulder saying, “Hey, buddy, come and smell the coffee. It’s time to open your eyes.” So now, instead of being subtle, he’s placing His hands on our shoulders and shaking us violently to force us to open our eyes.

We don’t know how long the End Times are supposed to be. I mentioned them to someone at work the other day, and they rolled their eyes and was like, “Really? This stuff has always been going on. We’ve always been in the ‘end times’”. I’m sure we have. But things seem to be getting more and more violent. And more and more frequent.

It makes me question my faith. Not so much to the point that if I believe in God or not, but to the point of how strong is it, knowing that if something like this would happen to me, would I be able to still praise Him in the storm.

And I am afraid. I am afraid of what’s to come. I’m afraid of having a complete tragedy knock on my door. I am afraid of dying slowly.

I think it’s only human to be afraid. But that makes me get closer to God in prayer. Why does it take a tragedy to do so? Because it’s opening my eyes. Life is short. VERY SHORT. And I don’t want to take any minute that God is giving me for granted.

I know where I’m going when I die. I know that I will be at Jesus’ feet, safe. But in this fragile human form, I have nothing to cling to but the faith and hope that God will protect me in a time of disaster. I may not be one of the fortunate one day and will need to remember that even in the time of trial, I will rise. And God will be there holding my hand and leading through that dark, dark valley to the brightest of sunrises.

A Father's Love Letter

2010-02-25T06:35:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon this while looking for something to add to my Bible Study. Wow. The Truth.

http://www.habeeb.com/fathers.love.letter/fathers.love.letter.english.html

Father's Love Letter
My Child ~
You may not know me, but I know everything about you ~ Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up ~ Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways ~ Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered ~ Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image ~ Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being ~ Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring ~ Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived ~ Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation ~ Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book ~ Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live ~ Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made ~ Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb ~ Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born ~ Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me ~ John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love ~ 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you ~ 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father ~ 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could ~ Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father ~ Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand ~ James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs ~ Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love ~ Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore ~ Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing ~ Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you ~ Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession ~ Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul ~ Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things ~ Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me ~ Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart ~ Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires ~ Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine ~ Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager ~ 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you ~ Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart ~ Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes ~ Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth ~ Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus ~ John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed ~ John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being ~ Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you ~ Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled ~ 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you ~ 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love ~ Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me ~ 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again ~ Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen ~ Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father ~ Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is ~ Will you be my child? ~ John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you ~ Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

Revolve for the Future

2010-02-22T05:14:00.000-08:00

Revolve 2010 Edition
Thomas Nelson Publishing

It's hard for a teen girl to fit in and be liked. It's even harder for a teen Christian girl to fit in and be liked. It's not like she can just break out her Bible in the middle of lunch period or study hall and have time with God. I mean, I know she could, be since religion is not allowed in most schools anymore, it makes things a little harder.

Revolove,The Biblezine, as it’s called, has a wonderful blend of quizzes, beauty tips and stories of kids doing good mixed in with the New Testamnet while looking just like a regular teen girl magazine. The format is easy to understand and it helps bring problems in today's society to be more understandable and relatable to the problems faced back in Jesus' day.

I think one of the new elements that I really enjoyed was the “goodbook” bios on the characters of the bible. The column is set up much like a facebook page with all the statistics of the character. There are also interviews with musical artists that the girls would be following. Free downloads are included as well.

I think one of the only downfalls is that since it’s set up like a magazine, it’s not as sturdy as a BIble should be. It will tear, bend, peel easily like a regular magazine.

Any teenage girl would love reading this. I know there is another version for guys as well. As a 28 year old I really enjoyed reading Revolve.

Come Together Now

2010-02-19T07:15:00.000-08:00

Come Together Now (Music City Unites For Haiti) from Music City Unites For Haiti on Vimeo.

Love Poured Out

2010-02-16T05:48:00.000-08:00

"That which is good, profitable or beneficial is not always fun, easy, or pleasant. Remember love, joy, peace, and kindness PRECEDE goodness." ~Beth Moore, Living Beyond Yourself: Living in the Fruit of the Spirit Workbook

I have not always been a pleasant person. I have not always done things to please God. I have been selfish, uncouth, demanding, unforgiving, unpleasant, non-peaceful, unloving, non-joyous. All the things that the Spirit is not. How am I to go about living in the Spirit if I am full of these things?

Can someone please help me out here?

God wants me to see the things that I am not so he can break me and use me for the things that are good. I cannot live on good works. What would they truly mean if I am only doing them to please someone else? How am I to learn if I am not broken and humbled in His presence?

In order for me to truly do good works, I must first learn to: LOVE. Have a joyful heart. Be kind to others. Then good works will follow.

I need to pray to learn to love. Love as Jesus loved. Love to the point I would lay down my life even for my enemy.

Crazy you say?

Jesus did it. He humiliated himself on a cross. NAKED. SCARRED. BEATEN. RIDICULED.

How's that for love? He didn't have to do it. But he chose to do it because he love us more than anything.

Shouldn't we return the favor?

God's Loving Kindess

2010-02-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

For some reason or another, I have never actually been able to wrap my fingers around the concept of God being my Father; my Daddy. Or Jesus as my brother.

I have always known God as a powerful omni-present being, the one that hears my prayers. And Jesus to be my Savior, but I never actually considered them to be part of my immediate family like I do my brother or my dad.

I have tried in the past to pray about it and take my cares to God like my father, but there was always a barrier that blocked me from feeling the things that I truly needed to feel to help me understand that God is my Father and I can go to him for anything that I need. I may not get it in an answer that I want like my Dad does to me, but He will answer me somehow. This I know. But I never could just close my eyes, reach out my arms and run to God like a little child does when they scrape their knee and he holds them tight and comforts them saying, "I'm here. You are okay. Daddy's here."

I have had a hard time over the past couple months trying to get into my Bible trying to learn what God wants me to. My mind was always distracted and I couldn't tell you how many times I would read the same sentence over and over and over again. I am grateful for the new friends that I have found at my new church. I started going to a new reunion group along with my regular one that I attend from the people of Walk to Emmaus. The new reunion group I chat with are women from my new congregation that have attended Via de Cristo which is similar to the Walk to Emmaus.

Ruth, one of the ladies from the group said to me, "Mindy, don't go to church-go to worship. And don't read the Bible- STUDY it."

I really needed to hear that because I was getting caught up in my schedule and I couldn't keep up with the daily readings and I wasn't retaining anything.

I did my study this morning and I had a new found, newly freshened look on the Bible. It was on God's kindness and how we really need to come to him as a child comes to a Father. He is our Daddy and we need to trust him like a child does. They mimic things that the parent does.

This makes me think of my 2 year old nephew. He does everything that my brother does. He is definitley a Daddy's boy. He follows Marshall around the house/yard with his Handy Manny tools and helps Daddy fix things. He runs to Daddy when it's time to sleep or he just needs a hug.

That's how I want to be with God. I want to look up to him and follow everything that He teaches me. I want to mirror him.

And I need to learn that Jesus is not only my Savior, but also my big brother. As I was reading my Bible study, I got this image of Jesus and I chatting over Starbucks, goofing off in the park, playing card games, crying into His shoulder, soaking it wet. That's the relationship I want with Jesus. I need to start making it personal again. I want to look at Him not only as my Savior and Brother, but also my lover. I want to be focused on nothing but him. I his love for me to fill me completely and make me whole. Sometimes that void just takes over and and I can't find anything to fill it, even when I try seeking it in the Word.

I am slowly learning to have an intimate relationship with my Daddy and Big Brother. I want it so much.

The Sparrow at Starbucks

2010-02-13T09:51:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine sent me this lovely little story about how God can use ANYONE to further His kingdom. I hope this story gives you a sense of hope to know that you do belong in this world and you are cradle gently in the palm of His hands. Enjoy!

The song that silenced the cappuccino machine

It was chilly in Manhattan but warm inside the Starbucks shop on 51st Street and Broadway, just a skip up from Times Square . Early November weather in New York City holds only the slightest hint of the bitter chill of late December and January, but it's enough to send the masses crowding indoors to vie for available space and warmth.

For a musician, it's the most lucrative Starbucks location in the world, I'm told, and consequently, the tips can be substantial if you play your tunes right. Apparently, we were striking all the right chords that night, because our basket was almost overflowing.

It was a fun, low-pressure gig - I was playing keyboard and singing backup for my friend who also added rhythm with an arsenal of percussion instruments. We mostly did pop songs from the '40s to the '90s with a few original tunes thrown in. During our emotional rendition of the classic, "If You Don't Know Me by Now," I noticed a lady sitting in one of the lounge chairs across from me. She was swaying to the beat and singing along.

After the tune was over, she approached me. "I apologize for singing along on that song. Did it bother you?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "We love it when the audience joins in. Would you like to sing up front on the next selection?"

To my delight, she accepted my invitation. "You choose," I said. "What are you in the mood to sing?"

"Well. ... do you know any hymns?"

Hymns? This woman didn't know who she was dealing with. I cut my teeth on hymns. Before I was even born, I was going to church. I gave our guest singer a knowing look. "Name one."

"Oh, I don't know. There are so many good ones. You pick one."

"Okay," I replied. "How about 'His Eye is on the Sparrow'?"

My new friend was silent, her eyes averted. Then she fixed her eyes on mine again and said, "Yeah. Let's do that one."

She slowly nodded her head, put down her purse, straightened her jacket and faced the center of the shop. With my two-bar setup, she began to sing.

Why should I be discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?

The audience of coffee drinkers was transfixed. Even the gurgling noises of the cappuccino machine ceased as the employees stopped what they were doing to listen. The song rose to its conclusion.

I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free.
For His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me.

When the last note was sung, the applause crescendoed to a deafening roar that would have rivaled a sold-out crowd at Carnegie Hall. Embarrassed, the woman tried to shout over the din, "Oh, y'all go back to your coffee! I didn't come in here to do a concert! I just came in here to get somethin' to drink, just like you!" But the ovation continued.. I embraced my new friend. "You, my dear, have made my whole year! That was beautiful!"

"Well, it's funny that you picked that particular hymn," she said.
"Why is that?"
"Well . .." she hesitated again, "that was my daughter's favorite song."
"Really!" I exclaimed.
"Yes," she said, and then grabbed my hands. By this time, the applause had subsided and it was business as usual.. "She was 16. She died of a brain tumor last week."
I said the first thing that found its way through my stunned silence. "Are you going to be okay?"
She smiled through tear-filled eyes and squeezed my hands. "I'm gonna be okay. I've just got to keep trusting the Lord and singing his songs, and everything's gonna be just fine." She picked up her bag, gave me her card, and then she was gone.

Was it just a coincidence that we happened to be singing in that particular coffee shop on that particular November night? Coincidence that this wonderful lady just happened to walk into that particular shop? Coincidence that of all the hymns to choose from, I just happened to pick the very hymn that was the favorite of her daughter, who had died just the week before? I refuse to believe it.

God has been arranging encounters in human history since the beginning of time, and it's no stretch for me to imagine that he could reach into a coffee shop in midtown Manhattan and turn an ordinary gig into a revival. It was a great reminder that if we keep trusting him and singing his songs, everything's gonna be okay.

The next time you feel like GOD can't use YOU, just remember...

* Noah was a drunk
* Abraham was too old
* Isaac was a daydreamer
* Jacob was a liar
* Leah was ugly
* Joseph was abused
* Moses had a stuttering problem
* Gideon was afraid
* Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
* Rahab was a prostitute
* Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
* David had an affair and was a murderer
* Elijah was suicidal
* Isaiah preached naked
* Jonah ran from God
* Naomi was a widow
* Job went bankrupt
* John the Baptist ate bugs
* Peter denied Christ
* The Disciples fell asleep while praying
* Martha worried about everything
* The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
* Zaccheus was too small
* Paul was too religious
* Timothy had an ulcer...AND
* Lazarus was dead!

No more excuses now!!

God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. God bless.

The Voice of the Psalms

2010-02-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

The Voice of the Psalms
Published by Thomas Nelson Publishing

I have always loved the Psalms. I always found them comforting and a great worship and prayer.

The Voice of the Psalms is a wonderful book to add to your collection. Published by Thomas Nelson Publishing Company and written by the people from the Friends of Ecclesia Bible Society, this version of the Psalms is, I think, one of my favorite.

The Voice of the Psalms is the newest edition to the family of The Voice. They have published versions of readings from the final week of Jesus’ life on earth, the Gospels, Acts, Romans, and more.

The first few pages give a great layout of the book. You get a great overview of what the Psalms is supposed to be, understand the vision of The Voice Project and receive a welcoming from the President of the Friends of Ecclesia Bible Society

I love that the Voice of the Psalms also provides devotionals for Lent, Advent, Worship, and Seeking.

The reading is easy to follow and understand. Sometimes I have found myself wandering while reading the especially longer Psalms. Spread out among the psalms are mini devotionals that help you feel more connected to the writers of the Psalms. You can bring what they wrote thousands of years ago to life in your own walk.

I enjoy this book very much. I highly recommend anyone to pick it up and deepen your love and relationship with God.

For more information on The Voice, please visit www.hearthevoice.com. There is a lot of great information on the project including free downloads. Right now they have the Voice Revealed: The Gospel of John

Where is God?

2010-01-26T16:51:00.000-08:00

Today, hard times come to us in several ways:

~Functional Problems.
~Health Issues.
~Catastrophes
~Relational Conflicts and Losses.
~Emotional Struggles.

**part of an excerpt from the Introduction**

This is a great book for those who are going through a hard time in their life, or have had a hard time and having trouble letting it go. I’m sure we have all questioned, “Where is God?” at some point in our lives.

Dr. John Townsend, best-selling author of Boundaries, begins the book with his story to Antarctica. This is a very gripping story that catches you right from the beginning.

As the book moves on, we are taken on a journey through the lives of others. I could relate to some of the stories being told. We learn what is holding us back from loving God and experiencing the freedom that he gives us. He does not force us to love him, but he waits patiently for us to come to him.

To learn more about the book or Dr. Townsend, please visit:

http://www.thomasnelson.com/
http://drjohntownsend.com/

I want to finish last. Last in the worlds eyes

2010-01-21T06:02:00.000-08:00

As I was reading my Bible this morning, I couldn't finish Matthew Chapter 20 because one verse kept being spun around in my head:

15:"Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?"

So I read the footnote.

This verse comes from the story that Jesus is telling about the vineyard owner and how he paid the last hired who only worked about an hour the same wage as those slaving all day in the vineyard. The ones that worked all day were mad. And the vineyard owner confronted them saying that don't I have the right on how to spend my own money.

This parable is not about the rewards of heaven but about salvation and God's grace. We shouldn't begrudge people who turn to God at the last moments of their life. And I am learning this the hard way.

There is a coworker of mine whom I couldn't stand and no matter how I tried to ignore and or give him signs that I didn't want him around me; that he was bothering me. He was very crude and just would say derogatory things to me. He left the dealership and I jumped for joy. A couple weeks later he came back. I grumbled.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

He came over to me the other day and told me that he started going to this church by him and how he really enjoys it. This is coming from the same man that I COULDN'T stand and didn't believe in "organized religion". He told me how he and the pastor are forming a great relationship with each other. At first, I tried to ignore him, because I didn't want anything to do with him.

But then the other day when we were talking, I think God was whispering to me. "Mindy, he's coming to you because he knows you are the only one here that he can talk to with questions. HELP HIM."

I was like, "REALLY, God? Are you serious?! I can't stand this man!! And now you want me to HELP him!?"

Boy....did I wake up. Especially hearing this parable today. Am I jealous of relationship that he is finding with God? Absoulutely not. I have a relationship. But God is helping me strengthen that relationship by breaking down the walls I have for this guy and helping him out. He is going to need it. I call going to work, "The Lion's Den." Most days it feels like it. So if I can help him just a little each day, then so be it.

God is helping me learn in BIG ways by letting go of the past and learning that Jesus would have approached him straight away without hesitation. And praying for guidance is going to be a project to work on. I don't have a problem praying for the ones I love. But bringing my "enemies" into the equasion is going to be fun.....It's something that I need to work on and will be asking God for help on quite a bit :)

It's not easy, but I am willing to do it. Every time I see him, I clench my jaw. Satan thinks that he can hold the power over me, but it's going to be taken away real fast.

The Problem With The World Is Me

2010-01-05T06:06:00.001-08:00

The Problem with the world is me. Yes, I admit it. I saw the little lady walking across the street and didn't help her though I felt led. Yes, I saw that kid being bullied and instead of walking over to defend him, I turned away and pretended like I didn't notice. Yes, I joined in the conversation of gossip and instead of stepping out of the conversation, I added my two cents.

Am I really being the hands and feet of Christ? Am I reflecting Him as I ought? No. I am trying to serve two masters. Well, my dear friend, it's not going to work. You see, you can't serve two masters. It's you or God. And since I am all about pleasing myself, making sure I have all the cool gadgets and all the top songs from the top artists, it's the almighty God being put on the shelf to dust.

Yes, the problem with the world is me.

Someday I will think of others before me. Someday I will serve God will a willing heart and cast all my earthly cares to the wind. Someday will carry my cross and truly follow Jesus not letting other influence my opinion on my beliefs.

That someday is today.

**Video and lyrics is of my favorite band downhere. check them out at www.downhere.com**

There's got to be some reason for all this misery
A secret evil corporation somewhere overseas
They're pulling strings, arranging things
It's a conspiracy

Or what about the ones who shape the course of history
What if we petitioned for one grand apology?
I'll write to my prime minister
You, write your president

Everybody's wondering how the world could get this way
If God is good, and how it could be filled with so much pain
It's not the age-old mystery we made it out to be
Yeah, there's a problem with the world
And the problem with the world is me

Some will say the devil and his legions
They put us in a headlock of submission
But they lost all power over me
A long, long time ago

And since I was a kid you know I've caused a lot of hurt
And no one ever taught me how to put myself first
It came so very naturally
But I'm not a prodigy

So I will look no further than a mirror
That's where the offender hides
So great is my need for a redeemer
That I cannot trust myself
No, I cannot trust my self
I dare not trust myself
So I trust in someone else

The sooner you can sing along
The sooner you can sing this song
The happier we'll be
The problem with the world is me

Martel/Germain

The Prodigal God

2010-01-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

The Prodigal God. That’s a silly title for a book, don’t you think? At least I thought so. I mean, isn’t it us who are the prodigal ones? Aren’t we the ones who are always turning our backs on God and not his on us?

Prodigal:

1.wastefully or recklessly extravagant: prodigal expenditure.
2.giving or yielding profusely; lavish (usually fol. by of or with): prodigal of smiles; prodigal with money.
3.lavishly abundant; profuse: nature's prodigal resources.

When we think “prodigal” we think, lost or run away. And we also think of the story of the Prodigal Son. That is the story that the book by Timothy Keller is based off of. I just finished it and I have a new look on my faith and how God wants me to live.

Jesus has an amazing way of getting through to us in a parable. I always thought the story of the Prodigal Son was about a son that decided to take what his father gave him, take off, blow it foolishly, then wallow in self-pity and return home. But it is much more than that. Jesus used this to speak to the people in the crowd and to the Pharisees. The “younger brother”(the wayward one) was pointed to the crowd and the “elder brother”(the righteous one) was pointed to the Pharisees. But we can learn from this as well.

The younger brother left and foolishly lived his life on what his father had given him. Then the came back and was ready to say that he would work as a hired man, but his father welcomed him back home with open arms and celebration. The elder brother was enraged. He had always been the one that never did any thing wrong, he would say to himself and eventually his father, and look what his brother got. A celebration for his return. How was that fair?!

Neither brother is right in their way. God doesn’t want us to live like the young brother, running off and carelessly living our lives only to come back and receive forgiveness and go off and do it again. Nor does he want us to live like the elder brother, thinking he’s the righteous one, therefore, having the “right” to whatever is his. If we live like the younger brother we will continue seeking for things and never find what could fill the void controlling our lives. If we live like the elder brother, we feel like we deserve a place in heaven because have been “good” and then we could fall away from God because he isn’t answering us like we expect him to since we are doing all he asks of us.

We can get caught up in both lifestyles so easily. But if we would just let go of ourselves, listen to God, feel the Holy Spirit, and believe in Jesus, our lives would be so much more meaningful. God is always there waiting.

In a section of the book, there is a paragraph where Timothy mentions a newspaper that asked “What’s wrong with this world?” The Catholic think G.K. Chesterton replied back, “Dear Sirs, I am. Sincerely, G.K. Chesterton.”

Enter the lyrics from the song The Problem from the band downhere:

Everybody’s wondering how the world could get this way
If God is good, how it could be filled with so much pain
It’s not the age old mystery we’ve made it out to be
Yeah, the problem with the world
The problem with the world is me.

Ain’t it the truth? We are so busy trying to make ourselves look better and bigger. We put down people and belittle them to make ourselves feel better. We make up excuses as to how busy we are and we don’t have time or the patience or money to help someone in need. HELLO?! What if it’s Jesus standing in our midst!? We just laughed in His face if we turned our back on those that need our help the most. When will we eventually wake up? Someday that could be us and we may need someone’s help and we will be wondering why no one is helping. If we aren’t the hands and feet of Jesus and live as He lived, what kind of model of the Body are we to those who aren’t part of it. We are our own hypocrites.

I love this paragraph from the book:

The younger brothers are too selfish and the elder brothers are too self-righteous to care for the poor. Christianity, therefore, is perhaps the most materialistic of the world’s faiths. Jesus’ miracles were not so much violations of the natural order, but a restoration of the natural order. God did not create a world with blindness, leprosy, hunger, and death in it. Jesus’ miracles were signs that someday all these corruptions of his creation would be abolished. Christians therefore can talk of saving the soul and of building social systems that deliver safe streets and warm homes in the same sentence. With integrity.

I hope with sincere love that someday we all can open our eyes and live as neither brother, but openly share the love of Jesus as He did. I don’t want to live like a Pharisee, righteous thinking that I am too good to not step down and help the younger brother. I don’t want to live like the younger brother always running and never reaching the hand of God.

God is a Prodigal God. He lavishly lets his grace fall on us. He wants nothing more than to welcome us back with open arms and wrapped us tightly in them. Let him be part of your life and consume it completely above all else this world has to offer. For, it’s only temporary. But God? God is eternal.

New Blog Up and Running!!

2009-12-30T06:16:00.000-08:00

Hey all!

Just wanted to thank you all for reading and I wanted to let you know that I also started a new blog. I will keep this one for personal stuff. But my new one is something that I have always wanted to do. Music is a huge part of my life, and I wanted started a blog about certain songs, lyrics, or whatever that mean something to me at the moment. Music has a way of inspiring a person whether they notice or not.

Please check out and add Sing A Song to your friends!!!

Thanks, all!
~Mindy

All in Good Time, Mindy. All in Good Time

2009-12-15T06:44:00.000-08:00

Is it sad of me to say that I am jealous of my friends with families? I want one so bad. All my sisters and brother are married and have kids. Most of my friends are married and have kids. And here, as one of my friends from younger years said, "Here we always thought Mindy was going to be the first to settle down with a family."

I think it really starts to get to me hard this time of year. All the cute little kids in their holiday outfits all dressed up ready to go to church then to come home to find Santa stopped by while they were out. All the babies, having no idea what they are in for when they grow up, cooing and jibbering as they crawl or waddle about from Grandma to Grandpa to Auntie to Uncle.

Reading a friends post this morning on facebook really did me in. Her mom had commented on how she is in love with all the nesting that is starting to take place at their house with the little one's arrival right around the corner. "How awesome God is."

Yes, how awesome God really is. But, come on. Can he cut me a break soon here?! I'm not getting any younger and I want to hold a little one in my arms soon. I want to start a family. I want to play in the dirt, kiss a boo-boo, hold them till they fall back to sleep and tell them it's okay-The boogey man can't hurt you.

I want that.

But when will God put that certain someone in my path. Or is he, and I haven't even opened my eyes yet. Or-maybe God still thinks I still have some things to accomplish before I settle down.

I don't know, but it's so hard to trust Him sometimes. Nevertheless, I still do. I try waiting patiently to His still small voice, but I get distracted ever so quickly. so many things flood my mind at one time.

Then I hear God calling to me- "All in good time, Mindy. All in good time. My plans for you are set. They are in motion. Trust me and you will see them through. Even when you waiver, I will guide you back on that path."

So, jealously shouldn't be what I feeling. I should be happy for them(which I am by the way...) and trust someday, maybe God has that in my plan as well. Or, maybe something bigger and better than I could ever hope or dream up!

"See the Star in the sky....Gently leading the way"

2009-12-10T05:56:00.001-08:00

I love Christmas. I love the sights, sounds and smells. I love the home-y kind of feeling that you get when family and friends gather to share stories and sit and have dinner together.

What I love most about Christmas is the music and concerts. Yes, I celebrate Christmas all year long with remember Jesus' birth, death and resurrection, but there is something special about the time God's Son came to Earth to humble himself and become like us. And Christmas concerts do that to me.

I went on Sunday, December 6th, to see the Bethlehem Skyline with downhere, Jason Gray, and Lanae Hale. I got to help run the merch stand and meet some great new people. I got to finally meet Lanae. She is one sweet lady! I also got to meet and work Merch with Walt. He works with Centricity as well as played bass for Lanae on her set on the Skyline tour.

We had a meet and greet before the show and since I had an extra pass, I thought that I would just randomly pic 4 kids out of the crowd. I picked four very sweet little girls who seemed to enjoy every minute of it. I wanted to pick kids, because meeting "rockstars" at their ages means alot to them. One of the girls said she didn't know what to say to them! I told her just be yourself and just start talking about anything. They are all great and they love meeting their fans!

I had too many memories before and after the show to even write here. If you are on the downhere messageboards, you can see the stories there.

But the concert itself was awesome. I didn't get to see Lanae's or Jason Gray's set because I volunteered to watch the merch table so the other volunteers could go and see the show. That was alright. I could still hear the music and I was having my own little concert up at the table.

I got to head down to see downhere and the first couple songs of the show were upbeat, fun and familiar. I was bouncing around like a normal "obnoxious fan" then out of nowhere, I just sat down, closed up, and didn't sing the rest of the night. I could barely look at the guys even. I found myself focusing more on the screens with the words. Something strange happened to me.

During soundcheck early in the day, I got to hear a snippet of Silent Night, and I know the song off the How Many Kings album, so I knew what I was in for. But nothing prepared me for what happened. I tried telling myself I wasn't going to get emotional, but I couldn't help myself. Every ounce of energy I had trying to hold the walls up, broke down.

Silent Night was always my grandma's favorite song. She and I were really close when I was little and the more I grow up, the harder I am finding myself with her passing. Yes, it's been almost 20 years since she has gone, but being 9 you really don't understand what has happened. I have so many great memories with her. Every Friday I would go to her house and hang for the weekend. Our Saturday morning ritual was make scrambled eggs, I would bring her her coffee, then we would watch Gunsmoke or Bonanza, depending on what time we got up. And depending on the time of year, we would go shopping or rummage saling.

I remember when she got sick and was in the hospital. She was in a coma but she still squeezed my hand. Mom told her we would be back later that night to see her. It was about a half hour after we left, and the hospital called. Mom brought me into their bedroom and told me. I screamed. It couldn't have happened.

Every year gets harder, so I think with downhere releasing How Many Kings and putting that on there was really really hard on me. I remember listening to it with Liz on the way home from our downhomiepalooza back in July of this year. I couldn't even make it through the verse line of the song without weeping.

But I am grateful for tears. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow. I have many great memories with my Grandma. I still wish she was here. I know that she would be proud of me, but I want her there in the front row watching me perform, I want her to be the first to hear a song that I wrote. And I know she is sitting with me as I write them.

This blog has taken a completely different turn than I wanted it to. But maybe I needed it. I wanted to tell you about my wonderful experience about the Bethlehem Skyline tour. But in a sense I think I did. This tour means a lot to me. It brings back wonderful memories while making new ones with family, friends, and "rockstars" that I consider like family.

So here are a few pics from the show. You can see more of my pics at: mindyracal Flickr If you get the chance to go, please do! Check out the tour here at the Bethlehem Skyline site.

Motivation

2009-12-02T07:07:00.001-08:00

Why is it that when you wake up in the morning, you suddenly feel unmotivated? What is going on in your mind? I think I know what it is. It's the "easy" way out. I think that's why I am so far out of shape. Just the simple little thought, "Oh, I'll do that tomorrow," plays a big part. We are such procrastinators. We want everything NOW, but we always wait to do it "later". Then it never gets done.

Today I proved to myself that I could do it. I woke up this morning, feeling blah, knowing it was cold outside and didn't want to freeze my lungs. Then I made an excuse saying I w ill burn all those extra calories tomorrow at Zumba, so I won't do it. Plus, I am starting to get a nasty cough like I had at the beginning of November. I hope it goes away fast; I have a "date" with downhere, Jason Gray, and Lanae Hale coming up Sunday and I need to be in tip top shape to help run merch and be a strong supporter for them.

So, as I was preparing my morning tea, I rearranged my running/walking playlists and just decided to plop the headphones in and go. So I did. I dressed up, stretched and headed out.

I did my C25K for 20 minutes. I slowed down when I felt my lungs start to get fuzzy. I didn't run as much as I did last week, but at least I got a good amount of running in to still keep up with the schedule. AND, I still got up off my butt to run :)

I am learning every day that it takes a lot of discipline to refocus your brain. It's so easy to just not do something. But if you want results, you have to make an initiative and do something about it.

The Reason for the Season

2009-11-28T05:56:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again!!! HOLIDAYS! And I am not going to shy away to "make people happy" by saying Happy Holidays. It's Christmas time. We celebrate this time of year with the birth of Jesus.

Not Santa. Not candy. Not presents. Not little elves.

There is a reason for this season and people have slowly over the years forgotten the reason we celebrate. Retail has played a big part in everything too. Buy this!-it will make you thinner! By that!- you will make over a $100,000 in 24 hours! Crazy how we let ourselves get caught up in pleasing "us".

How can we forget that one person that humbled himself as a baby, in a feeding trough, in a barn....

Really if you think about it, even as Christians we romanticize the birth of Jesus. We think of Him as this bouncing blue-eyed smiling baby. Ponder the origin of His birth. I am pretty sure He wasn't blue-eyed and fair skin. Nor did He have a halo glimmering around His head.

He was born a normal baby, Mary with complications, like any child. But it was the best birth anyone could have.

Could you imagine being chosen to carry the Son of God? I would be like Mary. I admire her. She was so strong for such a young girl. 13! I have a niece that's 13 and I couldn't even THINK of her getting pregnant in our day and age. But at that time, it was normal.

I wish I had a heart like hers. Even being ridiculed by her peers and village, she trusted God. I want a faith like that.

So with all the hustle and bustle of buying things, take time to really sit and think why we are celebrating. Jesus came for you. He came for me. I will close with the chorus from How Many Kings written by Marc Martel the lead singer of downhere:

How many kings stepped down from their thrones
How many lords have abandoned their homes
How many greats have become the least for me
How many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that's been torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Only one did that for me.

Please take a listen to the song at www.downhere.com

Love Never Fails

2009-11-19T05:22:00.000-08:00

Last night while journaling, I wrote this little poem based on 1 Corinthians 13:1, 3-8. It was actually part of my Bible study for church and I decided to meditate on it last night before bed. I know that love is something that I am working on. Not so much love my family and friends and such, it's the showing the love to my coworkers that irritate me and cause Satan to jab into me and make me falter. He knows my weakness and plays on them daily...and it's so hard to ignore him. Though I have noticed a change where I don't fall as easily. And I am learning to pray about the situation as it happens. Love is the greatest gift of all. I only know of one person who was willing to give His life for this wretched soul. And I thank him every day.....

1 Corinthians 13: 1, 3-8

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal.

If I give all I possess to the poor, and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices w/truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Never Fails

If the sky would crumble away
Would you doubt me?
My love never fails.
If the last note in a song was played,
Would your ears reject me?
My love never fails.
If your last breath was taken in vain
Would you curse me?
My love never fails.

For I am patient; kind
Never boastful, nigh am I envious
I shall never be proud or easily angered.

Even on the darkest day
And you despise and forsake me,
My love never failed.

I'm Not Going Down...I'm Rising Up

2009-11-18T06:35:00.000-08:00

So....once again, my journey is through a song....

Not Going Down from Jason Gray

Not Going Down:
I'm not going down
I'm rising up....woah
I'm gonna stand my ground
and I won't give up...oh, no
And I'm not Goin' down

I have been really trying the last couple of days to stay on track...it's really hard. Especially yesterday when they decided to rearrange the office before I got there. It took nearly four hours later to get the office back in shape where I was able to sit down and do my work. I hadn't eaten since 9am and I didn't get to eat until 6:30 That's a long time. Not good when you are trying to keep your metabolism level and eat every 3-4 hours. I was getting really cranky and whiny and I could tell my body was telling me to eat....But I didn't

And I have been trying to keep up with cardio. I HATE sweating! It's yucky and I just feel disgusting! But today I cycled for 30 minutes and every last song I would like, I'm done...I can't do this anymore. Then another one of my fave songs would come on and I would just keep going. I finally said, "That's it. 25 is good. I'm done!" then Not going down came on. I got back on the bike and said....5 more minutes, Mindy....just 5 more minutes.....

This song motivated me through the last stretch of the exercise. I focused on God and pushed through and persevered. God is amazing at pushing. No....the SPIRIT is great at pushing me. He kept whispering in my ear and saying, just a couple more rotations...you can do it. I'm giving you strength.

Not only does it motivate me through my workout, it motivates me through life. This has been a song that I sing regularly to myself to help push me. Jason is a great lyricist....and it's great when you really can connect with someone's music. It makes it part of you; not just a song.

Thank you, God for pushing me to the limit. You are awesome!

Roadtrip, Rockstars and Running

2009-11-09T04:28:00.000-08:00

As I sit here and write this, I am listening to Concerto Grosso in D Major Opus 6, No. 5:Larghetto e staccato and I am overwhelmed by all the crazy and amazing events that took place over the past seventy-two hours. My body is still completely exhausted and having a hard time keeping up, but my brain is on full throttle! But I will do my best to make an accurate account of my downhere weekend.

DAY 1

We started off on our roadtrip to MI at 5:30am. Getting a slightly late start, and making a last minute Walmart stop, we still made it to the venue by 4:30. I know it was really early and there were no cars there yet(except the downhere van...) so we decided to scope things out. We were walking up to the door and a gentlemen points to me and says:"Mindy?" I didn't know what to think or say since I had never seen this man before in my life. His name was Bill and somehow he figured it was one of the crazy fans from WI. I'm guessing it was due to the "Downhere Bound" writing on the back of our car :) We sat and talked for a bit. He apologized by saying he couldn't let me in, but he ran and got something for us. We got guaranteed front row seats since we were here so early and drove so far. So the downhomies would for sure be able to be in front to take pics! Yes! He also told me that I was the first person to buy tix to the show. Crazy.....

Hannah got there and I promised myself that I would behave to make up for the crazy antics I did at the Peoria show a couple months earlier. Well, when I saw Hannah I geeked out. :) What can I say, I haven't seen her in forever!! So I was allowed.

We headed inside and waited around for Gina and Liz to get there. The whole time we were there people kept coming up to us asking if we were the group from WI. Everywhere we went people looked at us. We all had our downhomie shirts on so, we were a dead giveaway that we were there for the band...lol We all had our 15 seconds of fame. I found it funny that we were as "famous" as the band was. Crazy times.

The show was awesome, complete with random dance moves, outbursts about "Pluto" and everything in between you would get from a downhomie. I have never cried at a downhere concert before and I was most effected by "How Many Kings", "A Better Way" and "Here I Am". Something about the songs that moved me so much and meant so much. I have been having a hard time with a lot of stuff I think God was speaking to me so much that night.

Plus I got to FINALLY meet Jess Lewis! Such a sweet lady! I didn't get a chance to say Hi to her at the downhomiepalooza back in July so it was great to see her.

We hung around for a bit before heading back to see the guys. We grabbed our stuff and chatted. The people there taking pics were as interested in us downhomies as they were the band. So we were in a lot of pics. Now I know what the guys go through every night when they just want to sit down and relax.

We gave Marc his birthday present and he got quite a kick out of the Frankenberry and "Freddie Mercury" shirt we made for him. (you can check out pics on my flickr account-link posted below)

We were saying our goodbyes and Jason was like, "see ya guys tomorrow!" And I randomly started singing "Tomorrow" from Annie. See, I told you my brain is slower than my mouth at times....I had forgotten where I was and just started singing. Did I really just do that!? In front of downhere? Oh goodness....

Jason came back and said "Wow. You have a really good theatre voice." *shock*

We headed to the hotel chatted for a bit, contemplated walking through the drive-thru at McDonald's right next door and went to bed. I didn't get much sleep. I was running on 3 hours of sleep the next day.

DAY 2

Gina, Liz, Mom and I all headed to Tim Horton's for breakfast/lunch! It was my first experience and I loved it! I think I may move to Canada just for that purpose alone.

Gina and Liz headed to run some errands and Mom and I headed to Hannah's Uncle's house to record a song I had written. I was so excited. It turned out well, even though I was still getting over a cold thing and had "concert voice". Hannah is going to take it home with her and play around with it and add some stuff! So I can't wait to hear it when it's done!

We headed to the venue to get the merch table set up. The guys were sound checking when we got there, so we had background music while getting the table ready. We got done with that and we went in to catch some soundchecking.

Martel never ceases to amaze me. He started singing "Man in the Mirror" from Michael Jackson and I think I fell in love with him. *sigh* I just sat there listening and having a great conversation with Jaclyn and Hannah. It was good to have girl time too, before we headed to "concert mode".

Everything was set and we were ready for the show to begin. We took turns literally running around the auditorium to get up to the merch stand. We would wait a couple songs and then switch guards. Once again, the show was great and there were more random outbursts, dancing, and just plain downhomieness. During "Rockstars" I had made a sign that says SPAM on it. I tried getting Marc to see it and he avoided me at all cost. So I pouted until he saw me. I think Glenn did at one point and smiled.

Marc had also made a comment about our "square dancing". We were just being complete goofballs and dancing like fools. But it got the people to come out and dance with us. For the longest time I think it was just us.....

But the night wasn't over. We had a few more things up our sleeves. On "Bleed" we pulled out our cue cards for Marc. the past few times we had seen them, Marc always forgot the words on the verses or switched them. So we helped him out a bit. When he saw them, he couldn't help but laugh into the mic. Then continued to follow the cues by reading them. We giggled and danced some more. Then came the echo of the "OOHS". I broke out my best harmony and Marc turned to our side, smiled and said, "Nice harmonies!" *shock once again* Instead of nodding and smiling, I turned around and giggled like a crazy fan girl. I mean, Marc Martel just gave me a SHOUTOUT! WOW! Then Hannah and I broke out the Tambourines for Glenn's part. We found out that he really got a kick out it.

We headed back to the merch table where we sold LOTS of How Many Kings, tshirts, and jewlery! I stood there and smiled and couldn't help but love God and thank Him for letting me serve him in this way. Liz and I were talking in between customers and Marc shouted something to us and was making weird hand motions. We had no clue what he was talking about. But we tried everything on Glenn and Jeremy to let us come to Denmark with them....lol

We hung with the guys for a half hour or so, gave Glenn his VERY BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT and chatted. It was hard saying goodbye, but I get to see them in a month again.

We headed back to Gina's house. I was extrememly tired and the fog and late night wasn't helping. Gina almost hit a cat and deer. It was soooo foggy. We made it back and talked some more nonsense about hair and other girly stuff.

DAY 3

Liz had to leave early on Sunday, but we still got to hang out. Gina, Hannah, mom and I had a great talk about a lot of stuff and it felt good to have a conversation like that. It was so hard to leave, but after eating lunch at Pizza Hut, we had to "peel the band-aid"

Over all, it was a great weekend and I have so many more memories bottled inside for safe keeping than I could put down here(hahahaha....downhere....)If I did, it would be a book. And I am sure that your eyes are already tired from reading this!!

God it good all the time. All the time, God is good. Thank you for friends, family, rockstars and an amazing witness to the world.

You can check out my pics from the show here:
Oxford Show, MI-November 6, 2009

Farwell Show, MI-November 7, 2009

Oh These Crazy Times

2009-10-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

Today I had a meeting with my pastor about things going on in the church. We didn’t touch much on the subject about Homosexual Pastors, but it turned into a discussion more about how our church is lacking in the “connection” department.

And I told her how I felt less and less connected to the congregation. I felt like I was just going through the motions being on the worship team. I just haven’t felt anything and I found a place where I was accepted-not just for my musical talent either.

She told me that I wasn’t the only one that was starting to feel that way. She said there was a lack of fellowship with people in my generation. They feel like they are disconnected from the congregation because there really isn’t any form of a ministry for them. And she was trying to find a way to rectify the dilemma.

I told her that I felt more connected with my online “church family” than I did with my own church family. I feel like I can tell them my feelings and not be judge. And there is uplifting when I talk to them. ~thank you my downhomies! You know who you are~

So we talked a little more and she said that she would support my decision whatever I chose. She also mentioned that if I wanted to get together with her to help her with ideas to get my generation more involved with the fellowship of the church, it would be great.

Now I am at another crossroads. I don’t want to leave the church, but like Pastor Mary said, there is a long road to recovery for our church. And I don’t want to be in a place that I feel dry either. I have found a great fellowship with great ministries and learning at New Hope.

I am praying faithfully that God leads me to the right choice. I know he will and I know he will lead me where he feels the need. And I can’t stop him. There’s no point in going against him; he will just point you where he wants you and you will end up there one way or another ☺

Ending is Beginning

2009-10-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Coincidence or God Speaking?

For most of you that regularly read my blog or are on the downhere boards know that I have been battling with a decision to leave my church(see previous post...).

Today at church at a wedding I sang at, there on my old music stand that I used to use every Sunday, was a single guitar pic.

I had bought Bob, our worship director, a downhere guitar pic card as a joke gift since he always picked on me about downhere.

On the music stand today was a single downhere guitar pic. I picked it up, looked at it, and choked back a couple tears that decided they wanted to form. On the pic were the downhere name and "Ending is Beginning".

I don't know if this was just a coincidence that that was there or if this was God saying, "Hey...it's okay. I am moving you in a new direction and you are ending here, but a new beginning is coming..."

I know that Ending is Beginning is also a parallel of coming to the end of myself and letting God begin again. Which is also a path that I need to consider. It's always a daily struggle to die to myself every day and let God do His thing. But I am learning as I am growing more and more in my faith to trust God and know that he is providing for me for what I need at the moment of every day.

God is great and I am trusting His plan and what he has in store for me. I know He has something big and exciting planned for me...just waiting to see what it is!!

5 Golden Rings and a Barking Dog

2009-10-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting to do a review for this CD for some time now! I was one of the privileged few to receive an advanced copy of the album at our first downhomiepalooza in July. Let’s just say that I can’t stop listening to it! I can’t say anything bad about it, so I am giving every song a synopsis. Here we go!

How Many Kings~ This is the original version with a string section added to it. Still one of my favorite downhere songs.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen~ There is so much going on in this song! It changes directions through out the whole thing. But I LOVE it!!! So many different dynamics…

Angels from the Realms of Glory~ Great, great rendition of this song. One of my favorite Christmas songs and it was neat to see the making of this song. (see vid below…) I love the feel they bring to it. By starting simple, then building towards the end.

Christmas in Our Hearts~ a downhere original. A nice little reminder that even if they take "Christmas" out of every thing, Christmas will still always be in our hearts and we know that Jesus came to us that night to save us all.

Silent Night~One of my favorite versions of this song. It makes me tear every time I hear it. It also brings back many memories of my Grandma. Jason’s voice is amazing and Marc’s soaring vocals add so much emotion to this simple lullaby.

Good King Wenceslas~ "I ask you good king…Wenceslas!" Marc is so funny at the beginning of this song. It has a great groove feel to it. I feel my head bob to it all the time.

What Child is This?~ This has been and will ever be my favorite Christmas Carol of all time. Just Marc and the guitar. Marc also does a verse in French. Magnifique!

Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella~ This is a downhomie favorite and we were ever so glad to see that it made it to the record. Another great Christmas Carol

5 Golden Rings~ I thought, "Oh no…they really didn’t add 12 Days of Christmas." Not going to give anything away on this one. Has to be my favorite track on the album. True downhere style….

Glory to God~ Another downhere original. This song can be found on the Bethlehem Skyline CD where we first got a sample of what downhere can do for Christmas music.

Gift Carol~ One of my favorite downhere Christmas originals. I love the chorus: There’s a gift marked for us/By the angel chorus/ Not in sparkling paper/ But a lowly manger/ Sealed in hopeful promise/ For every Doubting Thomas/ From God with love/ To all mankind. If that doesn’t sum it up right there how much God loves us, I don’t know what will.

We Wish You A Merry Christmas~ The only thing that I could think of on this one was "Shrek the Halls"- on bonus disc that came with my Shrek video when it first came out. So picture Donkey, Shrek, and the Gingerbread Man singing. If you can find a copy of Shrek the Halls then compare with WWYAMC....

How Many Kings Re-Imagined~ Marc sang the majority of the original HMK, now Jason takes his turn on this version and as he declares it in the video below, it’s "different". But in a good way. It took me a few listens to actually get into it. And now, I think I like this version a little more than the original.

So there you have it- downhere never ceases to amaze me with their talent. I’d say for their first attempt at a Christmas album, they have succeeded past my expectations. There is a nice mix for everyone and the downhere boys bring their love, comedy, and passion to this album. Way to go guys! I look forward to the next Christmas album in ten years.

Here are some vids of the Making of How Many Kings for your viewing pleasure. For more information about downhere, please visit:
The Downhere Offical Website
Centricity Music

What Difference Do It Make?

2009-10-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

"What Difference Do It Make?” is a wonderful read. Blending stories of other folks that read the previous book called “Same Kind of Difference As Me” by Ron Hall and Denver Moore, it’s great to see how God is moving and working through all of us. In between chapters of Ron and Denver, are stories that were “inspired” by Denver and his struggle with homelessness. Hearing Ron and Denver’s stories helped change the lives of people and their actions that they took when doing through their daily lives. I haven’t had the chance to read “Same Kind of Difference As Me” yet, but I love how they brought snippets of the book into the new book so you could piece the stories together. I would recommend reading “What Difference Do It Make?” to anyone who is struggling in their life with anything from finance, to a loss of a loved one, to a betrayal. In the words of Jason Gray- Everything Sad is Coming Untrue. Even if you are going through a rough time in your life, there is a light on the other side that will help guide you through your trial. These stories are truly ones of healing and hope and proof that God is looking down on us and will take care of us in our need if we call out to him.

patience is a virtue

2009-09-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

hen Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place, and it's already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food." Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat." "We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered. "Bring them here to me," he said. ~Matthew 14: 13-18

Patience. Compassion. Two things that I am daily still working on. I need to take a lesson from Jesus.

Even after retreating to a quiet place to rest after hearing the death of his cousin, John the Baptist, Jesus still lets the crowds come to him. He still had compassion on them and healed their sick.

And not once did he complain.

What do I have to complain about? Here is my list at the moment:
-the phone at work constantly ringing when I am trying to get things done.
-the sales guys always bothering me with their stuff when I am trying to get things done
-slow people on the road and other cars coming the other way so I can’t pass the slow person.
-my DVR box or computer freezing on me for now apparent reason
-my cat wanting too much attention when I don’t feel like talking.

Not much a real “urgency” kind of list, eh? I didn’t have to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders. I didn’t have to hang on a cross for all sin while the people mocked me. One person only had to do that.

Don’t you think that Jesus should have at one time had a tantrum? He had people mobbing him left and right, wanting to be healed. He had to let these same people turn on him and send him to his death.

I think my complaints look like mere trifles next to his. Instead of complaining about everything, I need to learn how to do everything I do in worship to God. Instead of rolling my eyes at the phone when it rings, I should be thankful that I still have a job and people are calling. Instead of nagging on the sales guys, I should let them see Christ working through me. Instead of fuming and throwing a fit when my computer starts to spazz out, I should take that time and focus on God while waiting for it to calm down.

We need to be Jesus’ hands and feet. And every action is being watched. Even the slightest little slip could give people another reason to not trust a follower of Christ. And we become the hypocrite we try so hard not to be.

Homosexuality in the Church Viewer Discretion is Advised

2009-09-21T05:45:00.000-07:00

I just recently found out that my Synod(ELCA) is going to/or has allow(ed) gay minsters in the church. I know this is a very touchy social subject and opinions will be made and argued.

But I am at a loss. I don't know what to think. My mind has been swirling with thoughts for the past few weeks since I found out about this. I don't know whether to agree with this, ignore it, or do something about it. This is going to be a no-win situation for everyone.

I have always been the one to say "if there is a problem in the church, instead of taking the coward way out and leaving-pray about it." But since I heard this startling news, I am ready to run 90 MPH in the complete opposite direction and be no part of it. But yet, something inside wants me to stay too and not sound like a racial biggot.

I have some gay friends. Though I do not agree with their lifestyle, they are still humans and have feelings and I will remain friends with them. But when it comes to the church, the Bible clearly is against homosexuality:

Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is destestable.~ Leviticus 18:22

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do no be decieved: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolator nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. ~1 Corinthians 6:9-10

We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. We also know that law is made not for the righteous but for the lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious; for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for adulterers and perverts, for slave traders and liars and pejurers-and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine that conforms to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me. ~1 Timothy 1:8-11

Were we not instructed to live by the laws in the Bible? And not switch them around to make them how we want them to fit into our lives? I was just reading one of the footnotes for 1 Timothy and it says that the entire Bible call homosexual behavior a sin. We must be careful, however, to condemn only the practice, and not the people. They can still be forgiven.

And that is what I said before: I will love the person, but I don't have to agree with their lifestyle choice.

But now, here we enter the touchy subject. We were also always taught to love one another regardless of our faults. We were taught to live like Jesus. Consider the people that he hung around with: Thiefs, tax collectors, prostitutes, etc. I wonder if there was a homosexual amongst them at one point. Do you think that Jesus befriended him? Of course. But Jesus did not allow homosexuality.

"Haven't you heard," he replied, " that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' he said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate."~Matthew 19:4-6

I am at a loss. I don't know what to do. I believe everything the Bible says, but yet, I don't want to turn my back on someone just because of their beliefs. It would go against everything that I have learned growing up. Not just as a Christian, but also as a human being as well.

I am curious to what others reading this will think. I am praying earnestly about this. I am trying to listen to God and hoping that it's not the devil planting something in my head. Please feel free to respond to this; I await your comments.

I may have been wrong

2009-09-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

Regarding the last post I made, I may have been a little wrong on some things. After a little chat with my friend and a nice chat with God, I had my eyes opened.

I was making the music all about me and what I wanted. I was trying to make radio the way I wanted it. I didn’t take into consideration that God will use whatever he can to bring people to His kingdom. And though the songs didn’t reach out to me in some way, they may make an impact on someone else and their walk.

It brings me back once again to a line in the song “1000 Miles Apart” from downhere:

You stay there, and I'll stay here, into our corners we disappear
And we don’t ever have to talk, 'cause you like hiphop and I like rock
But sometimes thoughts hurt just as bad as striking cheeks with hands
It’s less our homes and more our hearts 1000 miles apart

Now, someone may not like downhere or my choices of music and I can’t shove them down their throats trying to persuade someone why I think downhere is the best band ever. It’s just going to push them further away.

Me, me, me. “It’s just not moving me anymore” “I am not connecting with what they are saying; it’s just words.” When am I ever going to learn that it’s not about me and ALL about Jesus? You would think that I would have learned this by now. I am thinking I am going to need to have a little prayer walk with God.

And a sabbatical from the worship team for some time. I need to reconnect with God and I can’t do that trying to get my ducks in a row. Will I miss being up on the worship stand? Of course. But I have been making it a chore to go instead of letting God move me and speak to me.

This just makes me think of the book I am using a Bible Study at the moment. A Mary Heart in a Martha World. Martha thought all about herself and the preparation for the Lord instead of stopping what she was doing and sitting at Jesus’ feet. I don’t want to be like Martha. I want to be like Mary and give everything I have to Jesus and just sit there and let him speak to me.

Please pray for me while I am on this journey.

"Maybe You Think That We Sugar Coat It"

2009-09-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion that alot of the music that I have been hearing on the radio the past few months just isn't doing it for me. And I am not talking about the secular or country music genres either. I am talking about Christian music. To me, it seems lately that the music is just there to be there. To make someone famous by throwing it in the Christian music genre because it wouldn't get enough airplay on secular radio.

Yes, I know there is a meaning behind the songs, and no, I know not all Christian songs have to say the words "Jesus" "God" or "Love" in them, but too many that I have been hearing just seem too sugar coated. They are fun to sing, there isn't enough depth to them for me anymore.

Same thing goes with worship music. Some songs, after you have sung them for them for the millionth time, just seem to have lost all meaning. You try and find something in it and they just become words on a page.

Maybe that's why I haven't been really feeling anything while I am on the worship stand trying to lead worship.

Some songs, though, just resonate through the years and no matter how many times you have heard it, you still get choked up when hearing it. Like Amazing Grace, for example. It never fails me to bring me to tears when I hear multitudes of people singing it together, pouring their hearts out. Wow.

I like songs that have a meaning. That have some body to it. And I am not finding that on the radio lately. I like having a story behind a song. Maybe that's why I gravitate towards the Centricity Artists so much. Their label pushes them to dig deep, push the line and find a meaning. Downhere, Lanae Hale and Jason Gray are my favorites off that label(although I LOVE them all). I love the stories behind the songs. And they all have a passion for Christ. They are not just writing songs to write songs.

I don't know what's on other Christians artists hearts and I do not have the right to judge them. But just in my opinion, there are alot of songs that are just, for me, lacking something. Are we really watering down our faith just to have a hit song on the radio? I hope not. We should be bold about it, not be ashamed of what we believe, and stand firm. Don't water it down. Don't sugar coat it. Just live it.

Again I Say: Rejoice!!

2009-09-14T19:17:00.000-07:00

Philippians 4:4-6

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Wow. I couldn’t have read a better verse today! One thing that I have been struggling with for years is prayer. I never know what to say. I don’t want to sound greedy. Sometimes I feel stupid just talking to the air. But over the past couple of months I have learned to take everything to God in prayer. And he will provide. I am living proof of that. I love my job at Russ Darrow, and I have been part time for the past year since I started. And I was struggling every day to find a way to make ends meet. I was always looking for other part time jobs to fill in the hours that I didn’t work there, but nothing came up. And news last week came that our normal full time girl, due to personal reasons, was going down to part time and I would get the full time position. WHAT? Really? So, I sent my blessings up to God. Then today, I word that I will be getting a raise on my next check! I can’t tell you how much God has blessed me in the past couple of weeks. All the trails and pain that I have gone through only equip me to be a stronger person in my walk with God. And I have learned to pray earnestly and continuously. He will provide for you when you need it. And when you least expect it!

I have also become more open with my faith and not being ashamed to pray in public. I still struggle at times, but I am getting better at it. I have a problem with sitting and listening for God, though. I always have things running through my brain and I get distracted easily. Sometimes things are good, other times not so much. Sometimes I am running down my “to do” list and I lose sight of why I am bowing my head. There is a song called “Let the Waters Rise” from Mikeschair that has been my prayer the past couple months since I first heard it. I remember crying. I actually heard it again last night having a “worry” moment and it came at the right time and brought me to my knees in surrender.

Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I tried but i can't control my fear
Where do I go from here

Sometimes it's so hard to pray
You feel so far away
I am willing to go where You want me to
God I trust You

[Chorus]
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knee
So let the waters rise

If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God will never put anything in front of you that you can’t handle. He’s just a prayer away when you feel like falling. He’ll pick you up when He knows you are ready. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Fearless

2009-09-10T06:51:00.000-07:00

Yet another wonderful book from Max Lucado. I decided to use this as my Bible Study for the past couple weeks and I am glad that I did. Not only did I learn more about myself, but I also learned the different fears holding me back from fully living my life in Christ. Max has a wonderful blend of stories and explanation of fear. He brought other stories in to mix with the Biblical truths. It was great to relate my fears with those that have faced something in their past. It made understanding my fears so much easier. And one of my favorite things about Max’s books is the Study Guide in each of them at the back of the book. I love how even though I have read the same scripture passages time and time again, by reading one of his books, I find a new meaning to it and they stick better with me. At the end of each study guide, there is a little challenge for you. I found those helpful each day to help focus on my walk with Jesus. And each chapter is dedicated to a fear that keeps us from entering full surrender to Christ. Breaking them down like that, helped recognized the areas in my life that need a lot more help and prayerful thought. Fearless is a great addition to the Max Lucado library and I highly recommend picking it up. For more information, check out: Max website here or Thomas Nelson website here.

The Earth is my womb

2009-09-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

So hear me out. This is a nice little passage I read today from Max Lucado's Fearless.

I know you don't rememeber this prenatal season, so let me remind you what happened during it. Every gestation day equipped you for your earthly life. Your bones solidified, your eyes developed, the umbilical cord transported nutrients into your growing frame...for what reason? So you might remain enwombed? Quite the contrary. Womb time equipped you for earth time, suited you up for your postpartum exsistence.

Some prenatal features went unused before birth. YOu grew a nose but didn't breathe. Eyes developed, but could you see? Your tongue, toenails and crop of hair served no function in your mother's belly. But aren't you glad you have them now?

Certain chapters in this life seem so unneccessary; like nostrils on the preborn. Suffering. Lonlieness. Disease. Holocausts. Matyrdom. Monsoons. If we assume this world exsists just for pregrave happiness, these atrocities disqualify it from doing so. But what if this earth is the womb? Might these challenges, severe as they may be, serve to prepare us, equip us for the world to come?

This little passage made me open my eyes wider and really think about the things going on around me. Yes, I know they are trials and help me grow stronger in my faith. But I like the way Max put it about being in the womb. Like the nutrients coming from the umblilical cord, these things we face nourish us one way or the other. They strenghthen us and help us draw closer to God. So, I'm going to live like I am in the womb. Take everything that is thrown, no-given, to me and use to strengthen me more. Cuz when I leave this earthly womb, I will have everything I need to live my life at the feet of Jesus. And I will have no fear of exiting this life and making passage into the next.

Jason Gray: Everything Sad is Coming Untrue

2009-09-01T19:19:00.000-07:00

Now, I try not to be one that is biased, but I have been waiting (im)patiently for the new Jason Gray album “Everything Sad is Coming Untrue”. I have been a strong supporter of his music for some time now, and Centricity Music has not let me down yet.

Nor did they or Jason let me down this time either.

“Everything Sad is Coming Untrue” is a wonderful blend of pop, praise, folk, and everything else in between. Jason is a gifted songwriter and knows how to wrap God’s word around your heart.

If you are curious as to where Jason came up with the title, it’s a passage in Tolkein’s “The Lord of the Rings” where Sam wakes after the darkest day of his life to find those he thought dead were alive and that all was well: “’Gandalf! I thought you were dead! But then I thought I was dead myself. Is everything sad going to come untrue? What’s happened to the world?’ ‘A great shadow has departed,’ said Gandalf, and then he laughed, and the sound was like music, or like water in a parched land…”

I can’t say that I have a favorite, because all the songs have some form of meaning to me. But I think that one of my favorite lines is from “More Like Falling in Love”, the first track on the album: “Cause all religion ever made of me, was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet. It never set me free.” I think it’s true that we focus sometimes why our “religion” is better than the other person’s, and we could debate out this all day long, but this is an album review, so let’s carry on!

Jason is a great storyteller and is not afraid tackle tough subjects like battling deception on “The Golden Boy and the Prodigal”, and not letting worship get watered down or fluffed up like in the song “Fade With Our Voices”. This album is a true testament of what it means to confess and fall at Jesus’ feet and offer ourselves completely.

If you are looking for some good hearty music that needs to pull at your heartstrings, then “Everything Sad is Coming Untrue” should do the trick.

More information can be found at Jason’s newly updated (and really cool!) website or at Centricity Music’s website.

I encourage you to pick up the album. I am telling you now that you will not be disappointed!

Meet Jacob Black

2009-08-18T13:56:00.000-07:00

Well...I am not going to lie when I say that I am a Twilighter. Not to the point some people are, but I do enjoy the series and I am starting to get hyped for the new movie. Once I have seen it, it will phase off till the release of the DVD. Then I will get the DVD, and it will once again phase off.

They just came out with the new New Moon Trailer called "Meet Jacob Black". I didn't really want to see it since I am part of Team Edward(at least until the 3rd book.....he gets all mushy lovey in it, blech......). I never was a fan of Jake. As the story went on, I thought that he was a pompous prat. Hopefully, things will change my view once I see the movies.....I did sort of like him in the end. *KEY WORDS: sort of*

The new trailer does look great and I think the acting will be MUCH better now that they have a new director. I was excited to see the wolves.....

So, check out the new trailer: "Meet Jacob Black"

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Position Lost; Purpose Regained

2009-08-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

I started a new Bible study yesterday called "Follow Me: Becoming a Lifestyle Prayerwalker" by Randy Sprinkle. Today had a really great story and I thought that I would share it here:

Cameron's story of the Titanic also missed what was perhaps the greatest human story of the tragedy. Fourtantely it was not lost to history. And the story is greatest because of its tie to the greatest story ever told.

On board the Titanic was a widowed Scottish minister named John Harper and his 6 year old daughter. When the ship began to sink, Harper, traveling second class, handed his daughter to an officer on an upper deck who put her in a lifeboat. He then began helping those on his deck. Others were doing this as well, but Harper's assisatance was unique because of his instructions, hear over and over during the chaos.

"Women and children and the unsaved into the lifeboats first. Women and children and the unsaved into the lifeboats first."

John Harper recognized the moment as the threshold of eterenity. He was ready to face God, but he knew that many on board were not.

As a minister, Harper's lips had often declared God's love for the lost. Now his life declared it in a ultimate act. When he came upon a man without a lifejacket, John Harper took off his own and putit on the man.

Later, floating in the emptiness of the dark chilling waters, a survivor came within sight of a man struggling to stay afloat. It was John Harper. Rather than asking for help, Harper called out to the man, "Are you saved?"

"No," came the answer.

"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved."

The man's reply was one o silence and they drifted out of sight of one another.A little later, the man spied Harper again and again Harper called out to him.

"Are you saved now?"

Again the answer , "No, I can't honestly say that I am."

And again the refrain, weaker but still clear, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved." Then there was a silence as John Harper slipped below the surface- and into the arms of God.

Later in a meeting in Ontario, Canada, the survivor stood, telling this story and closing with these words: "Shortly after he went down; and there, alone in the night, with two miles of water under me, I believed."

Romans 5:6~You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.

This story is a remarkable reminder that we should have no fear in death. Jesus' arms are always surrounding us. Holding us. Comforting us. Renewing us. Even in the darkest times of our lives, there is hope and truth that Jesus gave us. He died for all of us.

IN REVIEW: Matt Papa~Your Kingdom Come

2009-08-06T06:23:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought that the Centricity Music people had gone and done it great with their last newest artist Lanae’ Hale, here they come around the corner once again with another great new up and comer. I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I heard that Matt Papa was going to be releasing an album. But since I am a fan of all of Centricity’s work, I couldn’t wait to plop the headphones in.

When the first piano phrasings ripped into full blown in-your-face worship on “Hallelujah, Our God Reigns”, I was completely drawn in. I bobbed my head and found myself instantly singing along with the second chorus. The music is easily addicting and easily singable.

There is something for everyone. The guitar driven worship is great for those that want to rock it out for God. The more worshipful pieces, like “Open Hands”, are great for those looking for a prayer to strengthen their souls. Matt has a wonderful blend of praise and uplifting. Then he completely turns it around with “Woe to You”. Nothing like throwing in a little hit-you-in –the-stomach truth. Something this world really needs. I know that I was impacted by the lyrical plea for us to change our ways of religion and put God first in our lives instead of trying to bend the rules and make His word fit comfortably in our lives.

I highly recommend this album to everyone! I rarely find an album that smoothly flows into the next song or draws me in right away. I definitely have my favorite pieces that are on constant replay (“Hallelujah, Our God Reigns”, “Open Hands”, “Trinity”, “You Can Do Anything” “We Will Shine”, “117”). If you like the stylings of Third Day, Jeremy Camp, StellarKart, Jars of Clay, and Michael W. Smith, then you will enjoy Matt Papa’s newest endeavor.

For some extra goodies, you can download the chords for "Open Hands" here and have Matt teach you the chords here:

And you can check out more Matt Papa goodies here at his youTube.

For more information check out:
http://www.centricitymusic.com/
http://www.mattpapa.com/

Your Kingdom Come will be releases August 18th!

My Defense Mechanisms

2009-07-20T06:11:00.000-07:00

I have come to learn that when faced with hard times, my dreams seem to know how to calm my spirit and give me peace.

Last night I dreamt of: Johnny Depp

I never dream of him. I usually dream of Jack Sparrow(though he did make a cameo last night...lol) But something must have set off a trigger to dream of him.

So, onward, ho!

I was in a Pirates of the Caribbean movie(go figure.....) and I had to play one of the women Jack was talking too. I had to wear this peachy/pinky frilly dress and had to fight for his attention with another woman. Needless to say, he chose both of us, but I was the one that got to wrapp my arms around his waist.

As we exited off the scene, the director yelled cut, but Johnny(Jack), the other girl and I just kept walking to the dressing rooms. We hung out with a bunch of people and unwound.

I thanked Johnny for his patience with my lack of acting skills and he said that I did great for never having a gig before, not to mention my favorite pirate. I asked him how he knew that- he pointed to my dressing room. It wasn't hard to figure out. Ha.

Later that night, I headed to some festival where a friend of mine was doing karaoke. I had to travel through this large crowd and go past a band to get to the tent where she was. I finally made it and she through me up for "No One Else on Earth" from Wynonna Judd. I hadn't done that song in so long, but she said I would know it once I jumped in. I started in , and the crowd gathered round. They hooped and hollered as the song ended and wanted more. Dorri told them they would have to wait a song or two till I got up again. So they hung around.

I chatted with a couple people and a line of people came walking past. I recognized Johnny right away and called out his nickname he let me give him so I wouldn't give him away. I didn't want him to get hurt from screaming fans nor did he. "JD!" I yelled. He turned and looked my way.

He headed over and I quickly made stride with him to block him from curious eyes. Good. No one had seen him. I sat and talked with him and told him that I was going to be singing and he would get to see me in my confort zone. He was excited and then my name got called. I gave him a smile and he asked if I was nervous cuz he was there. "Pffft" I said, waving my hand to him, "Honey, this is like bread and butter." I got up and headed in front of the screen.

"Whatcha got me going?" I asked Dorri. My eyes grew wide in terror. "I can't sing this! I have never done it before!" She told me to relax, and it will come to me.

"At last...." I began to sang and the crowd turned and wooed. "Bear with me, I have never done this one before," I rattled out in the short 4 beat measure. "My loooovvve has come along...."

I smiled when I saw Johnny nod and sit at attention. I focused all my attention on him and made it through the song with ease.

I walked over to him and he got up and pulled me in an embrace and pulled me out on the dance floor. I laid my head on his shoulder and placed my hand over his heart, where he placed his over mine. "Won't Van be upset if she sees you like this with me?" I questioned. "No," he whispered. "I talk about you all the time like you are my little sister and from what she has heard, she loves you and can't wait to meet you." I looked up to him, smiled and placed my head back on his shoulder.

Then I woke up.

Dreams have a way of comforting you in times of trouble and need. This dream prepared me for watching my parents St. Bernard pass on today. I have great memories of him, but I have comfort knowing that he will be well and he will be out of pain. It's going to be hard the first couple days, but the happy memories will soon take over.

Great Are You

2009-07-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

There are no words to express the wonderful time and uplifting experience I had last weekend in Nashville.

For those of you who don't/didn't know, I headed down to Nashville to meet up with a bunch of amazing people! The downhomies, AKA extreme fans of the band downwhere. downhere is a Christian Band (you should check them out at www.downhere.com) and we had our first Downhomie Gathering in Nashville which we dubbed downhomiepalooza. Yah, it's a mouthful, but there was never a dull moment!

I couldn't wait to finally meet the people that I "talk" to daily on the boards. We met Thursday night, hung out and played Apples to Apples. After the first 20 minutes of awkwardness, you couldn't shut us up or separate us the rest of the weekend!

Friday morning, we headed over to Feed the Children to do some service work. I was expecting it to be like Feed the Starving Children where you stand in a line and put your little scoop of food in a bag and it gets shipped all over the world. This was different. We boxed up lots and lots of Crocs shoes and prepared boxes for the next group to fill. Jeremy and Glenn from the band came and helped and I was surprised on our break to see Jason and Marc! It was such a great time. I am sure that they were scared to be meeting up with 20-something "fans". But I hope we proved them wrong and showed them that we really do know how to control our "fan-isms".

Later that night we headed to the Centricity Music building and got to speak with Steve Ford who is the Marketing Manager and John Mays who is the Vice Prez of the Record label. Centricity is the label of downhere. We were asked numerous marketing questions and basically were told that we are now part of the Marketing/Street Team. YAY!

We headed to dinner with the band and the Centricity Staff. I wanted to chat with MArc, since I don't get to talk to him much and I wanted to get to know him more. I ended up chatting and sitting across from Jason and John Mays and I am grateful for that. I had great time chatting with them.

After dinner, we headed back to Centricity and ate THE MOST delectable cupcakes on the face of the planet from Ivey's Cakes. It was like heaven on earth! Once situated, we got a private showing from downhere with a bunch of songs that WE requested. It was awesome!

Then, we were surprised with an armful of goodies!
1. A photo album to write our "yearbook" letters in from Gina.
2. A lovely tote from Jess Lewis who is the owner of www.tolivebeautiful.com
3. A notebook with the Centricity logo from the Centricity people
4. A prerelease of Matt Papa's new CD (which is AWESOME!)
5. Annnnnnddd.....downhere's new Christmas CD!!!!! We have been trying to get the guys talk all day about it, but most were pretty mum...lol

Needless to say, our cool, calm collected selves turned into fangirls. It was awesome. It was hard to go to bed that night and we hung out til 1am

Saturday was "us" day. We hung out all day long, explored Franklin, then headed to Opry Mills Mall and did a scavenger hunt that was crazy good!! And then back to the hotel for more fun. Poor Carson was stuck with Emily, Hannah, Kate and I and downhere Karaoke the whole weekend. Though, I think he was enjoying it immensly!

Sunday we had church in our room and it was hard to say goodbye. I love these people so much like my extended family, I would do anything for them. It was great to finally get to meet them all and hang and I can't wait to do it again. It was an experience I will never forget.

God was moving through all of us and I am grateful that he brought us all together to experience it. We all had one thing in common: downhere, but we left knowing each other better than we could have imagined. And only God could have helped plan something this good. It was awesome to see God in all of us. Thanks to Gina for putting this all together. You ROCK, girl!

Wow. Inspiring.....

2009-06-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

So I got this fun little Twitter from Glenn Lavender(follow him on twitter: glennlavender) about Marc Martel singing. I was like....uh oh, here comes another "In the Van with Marc" moment. I thought I was going to be watching Marc chew gum for a minute and a half hoping for soemthing exciting to happen.

Let me just say that I was in awe. I had goosebumps. I felt tears well in my eyes. This man never ceases to amaze me with his talent. And I am looking forward to telling him that in person in July.

I have always been a fan of opera....

I don't want to give too much away...just watch the vid. You will be glad you did. It is awesome!!!

Believing

2009-06-09T06:05:00.000-07:00

Romans 10:10~"For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."

Believing. We believe in many things: dreams, hopes, fears. Aliens. They are all part of our life somehow. But what if we kept everything to ourselves?

Think of it this way: You found a great product that you believed was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Would you keep all that excitement bottled inside? Don’t think so. I know that when I am really excited about something, I tell everyone I come in contact with. I want to tell them all the great things about that product, band, song, etc. Without advertisement of a great product, how would people buy it?

The same should be with Christ’s love for us. We believe in our hearts the great things he did for us, but why are we so afraid to proclaim it? Why do we always want to keep that excitement hidden?

Too often we share that excitement of Christ’s life with only those that know and understand it. That’s all and well sharing it with them, but wouldn’t you rather proclaim this great “product” like we do with everything else? I’m not saying that we should go waltzing around walking up to people saying “Jesus loves you”. (You can if you want, I do it on occasion!) Showing Christ in our actions is just as strong. “It is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.” Sharing His love can be shown in the words coming from your mouth. We can believe, but confessing with your mouth, heart, mind, soul, and body is much stronger than holding it in.

New Drawing

2009-06-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

I felt inspired. I wanted to try something new other than my Johnny Depp characters. So, I decided to do Lanae Hale. She's one of Centricity Music's newest artists (check her out at: www.lanaehale.com)

This one only took me about an hour and a half to do. Normally it takes me longer. I am working on some ideas for a trip I'm going on in July too. Plus I still need to work on an idead for my friend. She has this idea, but I just can't seem to put it to paper. I can see it in my head, but.....

It's Not About Me

2009-06-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

It's Not About Me~Max Lucado

GOD PONDERING

1. It's Not About Me~We should be like the moon. She doesn't complain that she doesn't shine or that she is the center of attention. She is happy to reflect the sun's light to the rest of the world. So should we be happy reflecting Jesus' light.

2. Show Me Your Glory~ We need God to show us his glory. Moses didn't believe that he was worthy enough to be used by God and asked for Him to show his glory.

3.Divine Self Promotion~ God's Glory is is God's Priority. God uses us as a self promotion. By us using our talents, strengths, abilities, etc, or his good, we are showing his Glory to the world. Free advertisement for him. No better way to do it than through his children.

4. Holy Different~There is no one like God. God is holy, holy, holy. Not just Holy. Or holy, holy. There is no one like him. "To whom will you compare me? Who is my equal?"(Isaiah 40:25)

5. Just A Moment~ There is no time with God. But we as humans measure everything. We are in a rush to get from point A to point B. We never take the time to take "just a moment" and listen to God. God is God. God is Light. God is everywhere.

6. His Unchanging Hand~ "Jesus Christ is the same today, yesterday, and forever."(Hebrews 13:8) We may perish and the world will change on a daily basis, but God never changes. His love will always remain the same. His love for US will always remain the same.

7. God's Great Love~ Because God loves us so much, he sent his ONLY son for us. Jesus died for us. He gave everything he had for us.

GOD PROMOTING

8. God's Mirrors~ Each one of us are God's mirrors. We reflect him in everything that we do. When people look at us, they remember what we say or do. We are to reflect God in our daily chores.

9. My Message Is About Him~ We think so much of ourselves, that we forget to promote God. We are always worrying about what other people think and not what God thinks of us. We are to be Christ's Hands and Feet. We are God's messengers in this world.

10. My Salvation is About Him~ The work of Christ is like your bungee cord. We fall constantly-daily- but with Christ's love, we can be pulled back to to source. The tie is never severed. We can lose all this world has for us because nothing in comparison of gaining the greatness of knowing Christ as Lord.

11. My Body is About Him~ Your body is not your own. It belongs to God. It is his temple and should be treated as such. It is not meant for sexual immorality. Don't offer parts of your body to sin, but rather to God. Use them for instruments of righteousness.

12. My Struggles Are About Him~ Don't think that God isn't a loving God. He is. And we can use our struggles to draw closer to him. Without them, we would grow accustomed to living a daily life free of sin, and never truly feel his love for us. The more we give our problems to God instead of hanging on to them and proclaiming them to the world, drawing attention to ourselves, the more we find closer and peace in the arms of Christ.

13. My Success Is About Him~ God gives and takes away. He has given me my talents and they should be used to glorify his name, and not my own. Too many times we put all the focus on us. We have become a "me, me, me" generation. And we think too much of our good instead of what God has done.

14. Upward Thinking~ The more that we pray and use what we have to glorify God, the more we see him in our daily lives. I can't wait to here him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Seeing those words today, made me cry. I don't know if they were tears of joy or sadness. I know that in my walk, I haven't given God the glory that He deserves. I have fallen into the "it's all about me" category more times than not. But going through this study has opened my eyes. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy. But I am willing to turn my heart around and focus all my attention on God. He made me. He loves me. And he wants the best for me. And until I reach that day when I get to hear those six precious words, I will let the world see Him in my daily life. I want others to see that God is a great God and he does care for you.

Amazing, Amazing, Amazing!

2009-05-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

"What a man desires in unfailing love" Proverbs 19:22a

Top 10 things I love:
1. Family/Friends
2. The Holy Trinity
3. Music
4. Culver's
5. Starbucks
6. The band downhere
7. Music
8. Reading
9. Dancing(but I'm not very good...lol)
10. Writing

Let's reevaluate this~ Where is God? Shouldn't this be my first priority? I put Family and Friends first, but that's what came to mind first. Not that that is a bad thing, mind you. But wouldn't you think that the God who created unfailing love would be the first thing up there? The God that, no matter what I do, he still unconditionally seeks me and holds me? Don't you think that that should be the most important?

It still amazes me after centuries of people turning their backs on him, he still loves them. Now, where else can you find that? I can't think of anywhere. Because even the most loving person in the world could get mad at you for something.

God loved us so much that he gave his ONLY son for us. (going to quote some downhere, be prepared! LOL) He came down to us, to know what it's like, to know what it's like to hurt. To be us. To be one with the dust.

I am glad that he loves me enough to save me even though I daily turn my back on him. It's not something I am proud of. But speaking with him daily has brought me closer to him and opened my eyes to his love. And humor. Man, does he have a good sense of humor,too.

Another great verse from my devos this morning to ponder on:

Romans 8:37-38, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

The next time you feel alone, or hurt, or even happy for that matter, remember there is a GOD that has unfailing love for you. He's always there with open arms, waiting, paitiently for you to return to him.

Soft Spoken Words

2009-05-28T07:34:00.001-07:00

I have been bumming the past couple of days. I am struggling on how to let go and let God do his thing while I worry about my bills and what I am going to do with my life. Will I ever get out of debt? Will I ever meet anyone to spend the rest of my life with? Then this little verse came along yesterday in the Word on the Way from my local radio Station:

"Give all your worries and cares to God; for he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I love how God comes at just the right time when you need Him. I mean, I know he's always there watching over me, but yet sometimes I feel broken and alone. But then simple words like those above come along and remind me that I am not alone and that he is watching over me and will provide for me.

People always think that if God was such a loving God that he wouldn't let bad things happen to people. The more I grow in Christ, the more I remember John 15:18-"If the world hates, keep in mind that they first hated me."

I retrospect, I have it good compared to some people. They are dying for their faith or not able to have the comforts that I have. I am rich comapared to others. And sometimes it's hard not to think about me, me, me. I am continually learning to turn my focus off me and onto Christ. Becuase I am free through Him. He saved me and gave me the things that I have. And through my temptations and trials, I can grow stronger through Him and allow the Spririt to work in me.

God is good~all the time. All the time~God is good.

Memorial Day

2009-05-26T08:18:00.001-07:00

Memorial Day was a blast. We spent the day with family and friends and grilled out. I made fruit salsa and cinnamon chips which everyone loved (recipe will be at the bottom of post). I'm glad I didn't have much to take home with me!

We played two two-hour games of croquet. That's what happens when you have 12 people playing and crazy courses set up. I mean, there was a hoop set up by the legs of the swing, we had to play up numerous hills and so forth. It was fun. We play a game called Poison. you go through the course, then head back to start, and then you are Poison. Once poison you can go and attack anyone without going through the hoops. I won the first game; that was exhilarating! I beat the top player in the family. YESSSS!

We had a alot of stuff to eat and I totally ruined my diet. huh. Glad it was only a one day thing.

Now it's back to the normal. Or what you call normal.

FRUIT SALSA and CINNAMON CHIPS

FRUIT SALSA:
1 pund strawberries, diced
1 package rasberries
2 apples peeled and diced
2 kiwi, diced
1 TBSP sugar
1 TBSP brown sugar
3 TBSP fruit perserves(jam)
OPTIONAL:
cilantro and cayenne pepper to taste

CHIPS:
10 10-in torillas
butter cooking spray
2 CUPS Cinnamon sugar mix

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray torillas with butter spray, then sprinkle with cinnamon sugar mix. Spray again. Cut into wedges and place on cookies sheet in single layer. Bake for 7-10 min. Remove from cookie sheet and cool.

In a bowl, mix all the fruits in a bowl with the sugars and preserves. Add a sprinkle of dried or fresh cilantro to taste. Sprinkle with a little cayenne pepper for a kick. Chill in fridge until ready to serve.

Crazy Dream

2009-05-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

I had this crazy dream last night about Ryan and the crew from Paranormal State from A&E.

It started out at some restaurant/house and I was busy putting stuff away and handing out applications to a couple girls. The line slowly went away and in walked Ryan and Aerie(pronounce AIR-ee, don't ask me who he was....he's not part of the real crew.)

They started chatting with one of the guys I was working with and setting up the recording booth in the living room part of the house. They came to record some stuff for the show and I had no idea they were coming. I got all flustered when I saw them (in real life and in my dream I think Ryan is a cutie.)Lindsey the girl that I worked with came in and started talking to me and Bob the guy that was going to be handling the recording came over to talk to me and asked if I would set up the other mic over where I was standing since there wasn't going to be enough room in the booth for both guys. I said sure as soon as Ryan smiled and looked at me. I felt like I had turned fifteen shades of red. We talked, well he talked while I listened and nodded and shyly answered him back. I told him that I had to get some stuff in the back room. Lindsey came around and I pointed at my stomach to signal to her to look behind me-that was Ryan.

They recorded the stuff, packed up the equipment and lounged in the living room. There were about ten people there and I headed to the couch. Aerie was sitting next to me. I wasn't really talking; I was more taking in the whole scene. Ryan had just walked in the room, looked at me, and walked over to talk to someone. I felt my heart sink. I thought he was going to sit next to me. Oh well. After a little bit, he said nothing and sat right on my legs that I had curled next to me. I felt the butterflies. For a little bit, he didn't say anything. Then he turned to me, played with a piece of my hair and I shyly pulled my head to my shoulder. He said something to me and I can't remember what he said. We started talking, then he said something that must have upset me. I got up and walked out the room.

I thought for sure he was going to follow me, but it was Aerie that slowed me down with his hands on my shoulders. I didn't need to turn around to know it was him. We talked and I told him that I didn't want Ryan to come looking for me right now. I know he was going to, but I didn't want to talk to him. We made it over to the bleachers across the street from the house and sat down. I heard voices and told him I think Ryan is coming. So we hid below the bleachers. But the voices kept getting louder. And they didn't sound like Ryan-at first.

I decided to peek out and see what was going on and where all these people had come from, when seconds ago it was just Aerie and I. I looked out and there were a bunch of teenagers and adults looking around the bleachers. Aerie asked what I was doing. I told him I was checking out what the people were doing. He told me there wasn't anyone there. I insisted that there were about twenty people hunting for something. Then it hit me. I wasn't seeing people. I was seeing spirits. Aerie came out from under the bleachers and I blurted out that we need to go and get Ryan.

Before I could explain, Ryan came around the corner. I told him we needed him and he was like, "Why? Guess Aerie's company is more important than mine. I thought you liked me." I told him this isn't about us right now. There are people searching for something and we need to help. At first he thought I was crazy and we started arguing. Then he finally listened when I told him I was seeing spirits. They are looking for something and I don't know what it was. We needed to get the crew here right now.

Aerie went and got the rest of the people while Ryan stared at me. He finally came out of his trance and asked me what was going on. I couldn't fully tell him so I tried to mingle with them. When the rest of the crew came, I found my "abilities" were getting stronger. I ran my hands in front of the dumpsters that were by the bleachers. I frantically putzed with the lock on the bright yellow one. "In there. She's in there," I finally mustered. They were looking for Hannah, a dark-haired cheerleader that disappeared. I stepped back and told them that I wasn't going to be able to open it; I would pass out at the smell and dicomposed body.

It was starting to look like it was going to rain, so Katrina and I decided to head over to the church that was next door. We couldn't get the lock to open, so we headed back over to the crew. They had all started walking back, and for some reason, a powerline had fallen, and everytime I tried to get away from it, it kept blcoking me and moving in front of me. I heard Ryan yell my name, but before I could do anything, the powerline hit me and I went flying back. All I remember is Ryan brushing my hair and calling my name as I slowly faded to black.

Then I woke up.

Funny, Funny

2009-05-24T17:43:00.001-07:00

God has a sense of humor. A very dry, British sense of humor, if you will.

Today at church I sang one of my songs that I wrote on Friday. There was a wedding yesterday and they had moved the piano way over so I had to roll it back. I decided that I was going to play on a couple of the other songs for worship and we practiced them.

Well, a little bit into my song, I thought that I was feeling things. I couldn't tell if the piano was moving or not. Strange, I know. The piano is on a piano cart thingy and when you step on the sustain pedal, you can feel the piano "push" sliightly forward and then back again when you let off. Well, this time, if felt like it was rolling. Sure enough, it was. I had forgotten to turn the wheel to keep it in place. I turned around and looked at the worhsip team and two of the guys were smirking and I ended up giggling a little through my what was supposed to be serious song. I kept pulling it back, grasping the sustain pedal with my toes(I like to not wear shoes on the worship stand or when I play piano). And not once did I miss a word or beat.

Bob came up to me and was like "That takes real talent to pull that off."

I think it was God testing me in someway. I don't know how. Maybe it was to see if I could handle a goof in the middle of a "show" and not think twice about it. I wasn't embarrassed or anything. I thought it was hilarious. I looked up and shook my head and rolled my eyes thinking, "You have one sick sense of humor, G-O-D." I'm sure the congregation got a kick too.

Is it really worth it?

2009-05-21T06:46:00.001-07:00

As I was flipping through my 500 emails this morning, I was wondering why I have all these devotions/studies I do a day. I mean, I have my daily morning email devotion, I do my big Bible Study sometime in the day, and then at night, I try to throw in my nightly devos. I was starting to think that that was too much "study time". But really, it's not. I am glad that God wants to work through me by pushing me to read and meditate on His word continually on a daily basis. And believe me~I need it.

Lately my focus has been on trying to steer away from gossip, judgement, and not letting what others think of me. You know? It's really hard. All around me there is gossip. I try not to get caught up in it and I still do. I tend to judge others before they even get to speak to me. And you know what? It's not my job to judge. I'm no better than the other person sitting next to me. I kinda makes me feel dirty just thinking about what I think to myself when I see someone. Not very Christ-like, is it? And as for letting go of what others think of me~in today's society, it's hard. You are always having people size you up: how big your house or car is, what kind of brand of clothes you wear, how flashy your cell phone is, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I have come to the realization that God doesn't care about those things. He only wants you. Only you. He's happy with just that. And the more you mirror Him, the happier he is. That means, letting the Obstacles of Grace such as Gossip and Judgement, go and be open to God and what he is whispering in your ear.

Let go. Let GOD.
Decolores.

My thoughts

2009-05-20T05:31:00.001-07:00

From what little I actually watched last night-Youtube and Photoshop claimed most of my time...- I actually think Kris is going to win. Don't forget, you don't have to have eyes to watch American Idol. My right ear was tuned into the whole show.

Don't get me wrong. I have always loved Adam through the whole competition, but last night, from what I did see, he seemed cocky and sure he was going to win. Like this was just another theatrical show for him.

Kris has always been in the back of my mind. I was surprised that he made it this far, and he beat out Danny(my choice) last week. But last night when he did, "Ain't No Sunshine" I saw the real Kris. I love the fact of how humble he is. You can really tell how much he wants this.

Danny had always been my pick. Adam second. And I didn't care who was going to win or lose that way. But last night, I think Kris has a good chance.

The song that Kara wrote for them suited Kris sooooo much better. I didn't like Adam's at all. That was the turning point, I think, that turned me off.

It's going to be a very close night tonight. Let's see if my predicitions are right. I'm going to guess Kris.

Well Worth the Wait!

2009-05-19T10:56:00.000-07:00

From the moment I heard Lanae’ Hale on the Bethlehem Skyline Tour last year in Waukesha, WI, I couldn’t wait for her full length album to arrive.

It has been long awaited, but well worth the wait. From the driving beat in Back and Forth to the bubblegum Pop of “Let’s Grow Old Together” to the simple peace of the bonus track “Quiet Place”, Lanae’ has a well rounded debut album.

The first time that I heard the title track “Back and Forth”, I think I played it over and over. I forgot there were twelve other tracks that needed to be discovered.

With a wonderful blend of pop, worship, and rock, Lanae’ has captured the struggle of living in a world of me versus a world of letting go and giving in to God. With songs like “Here’s My Heart”, surrendering just seems a little easier realizing that God knows us and can change us, but without the surrender of ourselves, we can never be whole again. Then you go and feel your foot tapping and your head bobbing to the happy beats of “Beautiful Things”, “Burning Heartbeats”, and “Let’s Grow Old Together”.

And as a bonus, Lanae’ added “Quiet Place” from her previously released EP to finish off the album. Like a cool down from a workout, “Quiet Place” encourages you just be still, relax, and meditate.

I definitely have my favorites that are played over and over. A couple tracks took me a little to get into. But overall, Lanae’’s debut album is a hit in my book. I highly recommend it. If you enjoy unique voices in the stylings of Jewel, then Back and Forth is the album for you. Pick it up. Now.

2009-05-18T06:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged alot on here....I'm usually over at Xanga. Even on there I get in my moods where I don't feel like blogging. But lately, I have been trying to keep up with it. So much has gone on in my life and I need to spill about it. Even if its to an imaginary world in cyber land. Still feels good to get it off your shoulders.

More to come......

2008-03-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

Pics from Columbus filming of Johnny Depp movie Public Enemies.....

OMG!!! HE'S IN WISCONSIN!!! IN FREAKIN' CHEESEHEAD COUNTRY!!! Maybe when he comes to Oshkosh I will get him to were one of those rubber cheesehead things!!! That would be freakin' AWESOME!!!! I can only hope.....

for now....enjoy some pics from Columbus filming!

2008-03-10T18:30:00.000-07:00

So it's been a really long time since I have been on here......I have been hanging out elsewhere....let's see what has been exciting in my life in the past year....

1. My brother and his wife had a baby on January 31, 2008....Ryan Aaron is is name....he's a doll.

2. I have started writing some children's novels, inspired by my niece who loves to read.

3. I became licensed to sell Life Insurance in December.

4. I heart Jack Sparrow.....even more than usual...

5. I found out that the growth on my dad's bladder was cancerous, but they think that they got most of it off, and he will have to go through Prostrate surgery in June.

6. I went and saw the Lion King the musical, twice. Was put on the news for one of them for my Lion King display at work....and got to meet one the cast members, who stopped in the store and bought a guitar, and get a book signed for me.

7. Went to Milwaukee on March 2,2008 to see the lion king and stopped at the Historical where *GASP* Johnny Depp will be filming a scene....and took some pics...

And really had to pee after all the excitement

and got side tracked and ended up in.....TORGTUGA!!??!!!

Found a nice pub...and drank me some rum...

well...it's only Malibu and diet coke...but whatever......

this is what happens when you drink toooo much rum...

someone wanted to start a fight, and we needed to make a great escape....oh look! Stairs!

We had some help from a little "Sparrow"...

and the Jeaopardy Van...

8. Went to Oshkosh for the Extras Audition on March 8, 2008 for *GASP AGAIN* Johnny Depp's new movie, Public Enemies.....Decided not to auditon, but interview people for Depp Impact...here is my article with pics....

Location: Oshkosh, WI

Date: March 8, 2008

It was like stepping back into the 1930's. Pinstripe suites, bowler hats, and fur coats. Thank god for the fur coats, because it was maybe five degrees above zero. Between the smiling and laughing, was huddling together to keep warm while the line outside Carl Traeger Elementary snaked around the building. People from all over North East Wisconsin were waiting to get thier chance to showcase their talents as an extra in the upcoming and most anticipated Johnny Depp movie, Public Enemies.

The Joan Philo Casting Agency, based out of Chicago, was in town today from 10am- 4pm, auditioning people for the extras parts. It will be a good possiblity that Oshkosh will play a roll in the movie, along with Milwaukee and Chicago. It is an experience of a lifetime for Johnny Depp fans of all ages.

I interviewed a few people in line, while they were waiting to get into the building. I met Brooke, Sarah, Renee, Sue, and Suzy, amongst others. All avid Johnny Depp fans. When asked when they became Johnny Depp fans, most said as soon as they saw, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. A few others, including myself, dated ourselves by saying we have been fans since 21 Jump Street and Edward Scissorhands. But all the same, we love the same man. When I asked one fan what would she do if she ever got the chance to meet Johnny in person, she said her initial reaction would be to "scream, and say Oh, My god!" But then she would like to sit down and have an intellectual conversation with him, "because I am sure he will have something interesting to say."

People came out for different reasons for the movie, but over all the reaction was the same. It's an "experience of a lifetime, and when will we be able to experience something like this again". To think that "Oshkosh will be part of Hollywood history is a cool opportunity to see your hometown on the big screen", one fan said.

9. Found out *GASP ONCE AGAIN!* that Johnny Depp was in Appleton, WI staying at the Radisson...How in the world did I miss that??!!!!

10. I love Johnny Deppp more than usual as well.....

So, that's what I have been up to lately....I am now going to check out journalism, I love to write......I am going to keep up with the Public Enemies for Depp Impact.....I will try and get to all the events for the movie if I can.....

~Mindy

2007-02-11T12:06:00.000-08:00

so I haven't been on Blogspot in...like....forever.....normally on XANGA

so I thought that I would say hey!
I went to see Chris Tomlin the other night in Milwaukee, WI. It was FRIGID! I can't believe the guys all survived and their toes didn't fall off. And I was stupid enough to not wear a jacket....oh well..I didn't get sick(knock on wood)

I had such a great time. I met up with my friends whom I haven't seen since Lifest last year...and it was good to see them again.

Chris and the band were awesome...as usual. I had a revalation at the concert. Everytime I go I get more and more on fire for God when I see Chris. He is such a great worship leader and I enjoy watching them so much...my favorite band member....Daniel....ahhhhh Daniel....it seems everytime I go to Chris Tomlin concert I get to be right in front of him(EEEEEEEEE...I am screaming like a little girl) I was in the 3rd row...but my seat was on the end so I was in my own little world in the middle of the isle....

Anywho...God is Good...he has blessed me and I am grateful that I am his child. He is living in me and I want the rest of the world to see.

Mindy

2006-02-17T11:08:00.000-08:00

BRRRRRRR!! It has been super, super cold here. We just had a blizzard that the local weathermen named Christine. It was the first bad storm since 1997 here in Northeast Wisconsin. I took off of work and I am glad that I did. We got about 10 inches of snow and I was not driving an hour to work if I didn’t have to. Later on, the weather people said that if you don’t have to drive, DON’T! I stayed home and listened to the 50 MPH winds howl and watch the snow cut through the air. I opened the front door one time and there was a HUGE drift in my yard. I think it came up past my knees. I didn’t know how I was going to get out of that because I don’t have a sno-blower and no one was even out blowing the roads till this morning. Then my brother came down and was snowmobiling through my yard. He tried leveling the drift down, it didn’t work and he almost hit my house. It was fun watching him. You would not catch me on a snomobile. I fell off one once when I was 5 and they lost me in the snow bank, so I refuse to go on one ever again. Today we have Wind Chill Warnings. So I am glad that the storm is over. I like the season, it’s so pretty, but I HATE the cold weather and driving in the nasty conditions. Oh, and the salt on the roads! My car looks aweful and I have to get a carwash at least 2 times a week!!! So I will be glad when Spring comes around the corner and Summer follows. I would rather be planting flowers and biking and swimming, then shoveling and sledding. I don’t like wearing 15 layers of clothes. Believe me, if I had the money I would move to Florida during the winter months, just like my grandparents did when they were alive.

Well, I must get ready for work, brave the cold, and get my camera after work!!! I am so excited. I will finally have a digi camera. I am moving up in the world and I will be getting a new cell phone next week! THANK YOU TAXES!!!!!

2006-02-08T11:27:00.000-08:00

February 8, 2006

Ok….so this is my first blog…ever……in my whole life. I got inspired. Chris Tomlin is my inspiration. I was at his concert last Friday and was blown away by his amazing talent and fire for God…..I don’t however have any pics….*sob*…..they didn’t allow flash photography. And I am not cool and have a digital camera yet….I am looking into it though. I scoped out a couple of cool ones. But for now, I have my cheesy Kodak Advantix 35MM that has a shudder door that has a mind of it’s own. But I can deal with it…at least til Third Day in 2 weeks. Hopefully my taxes get here before then….

I am sitting at work right now typing this so I am going to keep it short for now. I hopefully will be able to remember to blog more than once a month. I am new to this so if anyone has any pointer…PLEASE!!!!!! Fill me in!!

Mindy